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Reviews for The Fate's Finisher.

By : Kaspjo
  • From nekochannya on January 03, 2007
    lovely, nyan! I wonder if there will be threesomes... I am very interested... thank you for posting 3 chapters... it really helped give us an idea of how this will progress and I cant say I dont like it... more?
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  • From ANON - starletz on January 02, 2007
    This is really good for a first attempt at fan fictions! Great job! I'm your second reader but then maybe I'm your first reviewer. That would be so great. ^^

    I feel that your story line isn't bad but there are some loop holes. Do you mind if I point them out? I hope not. I'm not trying to flame or embarrass you. Just that I thought you might wanna know where some parts doesn't make sense or seems weird to me. If you mind, skip the next paragraph.

    It seems to me that Naruto is actually very skilled in this story in that he managed to like single-handedly defend the village for so many days. After all you never mentioned that any others were defending the village so I assumed that Naruto is the only one doing the defending. As such, how can such a powerful person not sense Sasuke watching him for an hour already and Gaara immediately noticed Sasuke upon arriving? Also, you never mentioned which village. Is it Suna or Konoha? Seeing as Gaara carried Naruto to their apartment that is somewhere nearby, it would have to be either village right? They both are from different villages so one will have to move. My guess is that the village is Konoha. Since after Tsunade left the attacks then started. No point attacking Suna since the Kazekage would be there. I read the manga so there is something I don't understand. In the manga Gaara was the Kazekage post-time skip so is this story before the time skip or after? If before the time skip then I can understand Gaara being away from Suna (assuming that the village is Konoha). But if it's after the time skip (which I feel has a high possibilty) then are you planning on making someone else Kazakage? Or not even mention Suna at all? Next thing that doesn't really make sense to me is Sasuke. If he is able to avoid being detected by Naruto for so long, how come Gaara is able to detect him so easily? Also, I'm assuming that Gaara's sand was afraid of Sasuke which is why it is telling Gaara to run, why is Gaara able to detect someone way more skilled that him also instantly upon arriving at the scene to rescue Naruto? The part about Sasuke leaving Sound is also a mystery to me but I'm sure you will explain it in the next chapter. Also, about Neji's death. Since he was killed quite some time ago and by someone with Orochimaru's mark, shouldn't Sasuke know about Neji's death? (I'm assuming Sasuke was still in Sound at that point in time) I'm kinda sad that Neji is dead in this story. And lastly, I feel that Gaara and Sasuke are like quite out of character in this story seeing as Sasuke apologised (and to Gaara no less) and that Gaara spoke so much in such a small amount of time. O.o Furthermore, Gaara was actually showing so much affection for Naruto in PUBLIC!! Woah...

    It seems that in this story has both GaaNaru and SasuNaru in it. Will it eventually become Sasunaru?? I hope so. I love Sasunaru. I like GaaNaru as well but Sasunaru is my most favourite pairing of all.^^ Overall this is still great effort for a first-timer! Keep up the good job. Looking forward to your next update!^^
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