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Reviews for Hidden Powers

By : GoldenSensei
  • From ANON - kawaiicrimsonkitsune on December 08, 2006
    ^^ Gaara and Naruto make the perfect couple. I like the story and Gaara just seems so kawaii in this story. I also think Naruto and Sasuke would be more brothers than lovers..... But anyway, can't wait for the next chapter.
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  • From ANON - tasukigirl on December 08, 2006
    Hrm, I really like the pairing, but judging by your writing I'd say you're either very young, not a native English speaker, or really inexperienced. I suggest finding a beta writer to help you clean up all the type-os and simple English mistakes. As for the story, I appreciate the story at moments, but the shifts between points of view feel choppy. Like someone yells "cut" does a quick change in scenes and then tries to resume the action. It interrupts the flow of the story. Point of view is pretty difficult, but experiment. Maybe figure out what type of pov you want and try to be constant. Also, as an author, you sometimes interrupt your own story with comments. I know some writers do it to be humorous, but in your case, I think they're more disruptive. Try to stick with just the story. By inserting comments, you're telling the reader what to think based on the details provided, rather than letting the story tell itself. I was a little irritated by the quote "Yes I said skipping, just lie a real gay boy!!" because I have gay friends, and not all of them are flaming or feminine. I'd say skipping matches Naruto's character because he's happy go lucky, and not because he's "gay" as you put it. Unless you were trying to say that he's gay as in "happy." Either way, comments like that are unncessary and you're not letting your story speak for itself.

    Good luck in your writing. I look forward to future chapters :)
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  • From promise2003 on December 04, 2006
    awww...that's so cute. I'm a big fan of Gaara getting all broken and Naruto saving him. Hooray for that. You might want to slow your plot down just a little. The Gaara/Naruto stuff is really good, but the Sakura/Temari/Shika stuff is rushing by pretty quickly. I was a little confused.

    Still, good story, and please update soon.
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  • From ANON - lilithwolf on November 30, 2006
    too sweet and beautiful. you must continue! please!!!
    lilithwolf@excite.com
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  • From ANON - Nar/Gaa lover on November 29, 2006
    Awww, finally, Naruto comes to rescue. I really want to see how this develops, Naruto and Gaara are just so sweet together.

    That and I'm liking the whole spin on Shikamaru's persona. Perverted genius....

    And what about Kankuro? You just can't leave him out of this story!
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  • From promise2003 on November 27, 2006
    I missed your update...silly me. If I wouldn't have followed your link in my review section I would have never known and that would have been soooooo sad. Anywhoosits...I'm glad that you continued. Can't wait for more of the Naruto and Gaara fun. Especially since it sounds like your are setting Gaara up to be next to or in the same room as Naruto. Fun stuff can happen in the middle of the night.

    welp, update soon, and perhaps email me when you do so that I can actually know about it and not miss it like I was going to.
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 26, 2006
    Fucking brilliant if I don't say so myself. And I loved the metaphorical walls.

    And I'm almost afraid to guess, but your either a girl or a gay guy.

    ...

    ...

    Please say your a gay guy!
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  • From ANON - kawaiicrimsonkitsune on November 26, 2006
    ^^ nice....... Naruto..... couldn't wait to see Naruto!?! In one of your sentances it says "Naruto was bouncing off metaphorical walls He couldn’t wait to see Naruto again."...... Naruto wiggled his butt..... Naruto: Perv.... Me: I can't help it if I have dreams that I wish will come true..... You think I'm a perv just thinkin that just imagine what would happen to you. You in the same room with Kyuubi in human form and Gaara with them holding ropes and all kindas of stuff. Naruto: ...... O.O;! Me: Oh, and I beleive that your a girl, please tell me if I'm right. And sorry, me and Naruto somtimes fight and this is what happens ^^; I forgot to put my name in the one above so sorry
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 26, 2006
    ^^ nice....... Naruto..... couldn't wait to see Naruto!?! In one of your sentances it says "Naruto was bouncing off metaphorical walls He couldn’t wait to see Naruto again."...... Naruto wiggled his butt..... Naruto: Perv.... Me: I can't help it if I have dreams that I wish will come true..... You think I'm a perv just thinkin that just imagine what would happen to you. You in the same room with Kyuubi in human form and Gaara with them holding ropes and all kindas of stuff. Naruto: ...... O.O;! Me: Oh, and I beleive that your a girl, please tell me if I'm right. And sorry, me and Naruto somtimes fight and this is what happens ^^;
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  • From ANON - Dassion on November 25, 2006
    It's a great story so far.I Hope you continue this and update soon.
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  • From ANON - Loqui on November 25, 2006
    Wow, poor Gaara. I want to see where this is going, please write more.
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  • From promise2003 on November 25, 2006
    First, Naruto and Gaara are my OTP! Seriously I love them so much when they are together that I actually fangirl about it. I would love...LOVE...if you continued this. I think that you have put together a really interesting set-up (much better than the stupid beginning of my GaaraNaruto fic...it had no good starting point, blarg). And Gaara's so cutely broken in this that I just want to huggle him.

    *Lemon Drops huggles Gaara*
    *Gaara swats Lemon Drops away because he wants Naruto*

    Grrrrr...okay, really if you continue this I will be like the happiest person alive (so please do...please, please continue).
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  • From ANON - kawaiicrimsonkitsune on November 25, 2006
    poor Gaara. I like it you must hurry so I can see what happens. And Naruto! Hurry and rescue Gaara, he needs you!
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