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Reviews for The Café

By : sharinganswirl
  • From ANON - Luthien Wildglen on November 14, 2006
    Oh my goodness! I just realized that I forgot to add one of the most important points of my review! Please don't make Sasuke a smoker! I don't mean to offend anyone, but there is nothing un-sexier than a smoker. Of course the decision is up to you, but smoking is a HUGE turn off. I've even stopped reading some stories because I can't stand the habit, whether it’s in real life or in a story, I just can't stand it. Anyway, that's all. My best wishes for you and your writing.



    Dryad1789@hotmail.com
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  • From ANON - LucifersAngel41 on November 13, 2006
    Can i have your email to reveiw you? AFF always cuts my long reveiws too short D: this was amazing tho! but i got a long reveiw for you.
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  • From ANON - Luthien Wildglen on November 13, 2006
    My goodness, I am going to have to remember your name. You are a perfect example of an author who uses excellent detail in their fic, in every way. Your use of descriptive language was perfect, not too little, not too much. I can’t help but ask if the café in your story is a real place because you described it down to a tee. I really felt like I was there with Sasuke and Naruto. You have true talent.

    I have to admit though I was a little surprised at how girly you made Naruto sound in this chapter. His reaction to Sasuke asking him out, although very funny, seemed really over-done. Actually I thought the reason why he was yelling for Iruka and sitting on the floor was because he had some sort of disease that got worse whenever he hyperventilated. I understand that you are putting your own spin on these characters, but that just seemed a bit too much of a spin. If you want to make Naruto the more feminine of the two then I can deal with that, just don’t turn him into one of those stereotypical hyper-active cheerleaders, that’s all I ask. Regardless, I look forward to your next update. My best wishes for you and your writing.

    P.S. My compliments to your beta. I don’t know if you both collaborate with the writing, or if simplyinsane is merely checking the grammar and spelling over, but either way the chapter was fantastic. You both work very well together.

    I would however say to your beta to slow down a bit when reading the chapters over though because there were a few mistakes. I’m not usually one to split hairs because in truth there weren’t that many; and I also know that being a beta can at times be just as tough a job as being an author. However, as a fellow beta, I felt it necessary to not only acknowledge “simplyinsane’s” job, but also to provide a small bit of constructive criticism. I hope you forgive me!


    Dryad1789@hotmail.com

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  • From ANON - antilogicgirl on November 13, 2006
    Okay. There are several reasons why I love this.
    1) the use of the term "twitterpated"...so...you like Bambi?
    2) Ferme la Bouche...I speak French, so I didn't need to be told. Lovely name.
    3) the innuendo is great.
    4) great flow, nice direction. you keep your eye on the ball.
    5) a fresh approach to what would otherwise be a cliche setting.
    The only problem I have with it is the number of classes the boys are taking. Are they BOTH insane? Over 21 hours? I don't know anyone that would have time to breathe, let alone have a job or eat with that many classes. Overachievers unite...or so it seems.

    Otherwise, keep the cider hot and the references fresh, and I'll read through to the end.


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  • From ANON - SharinganEyes on November 13, 2006
    Oh! I love it! I like how the two meet, flirty yet shy, not too rushed just right! But I was rolling when Naruto found Sasuke's note! Oh his reaction was priceless!! I can't wait to read more! You will update won't you? Please pwetty please! I'll be your best friend! Oh I hope so, I just can't wait!
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  • From ANON - Nomme de Plume on November 13, 2006
    gosh, this was funny! i don't know if that's what your were going for, but it wasn't so much funny as in "that's hilarious," but funny as in "romantic comedy." that might have just confused you - hell, it confused me ^___^;;

    anyway, this is really sweet! i'd really like to read more, so update soon!
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  • From ANON - oraday on November 13, 2006
    Woot! Great fic you've got going here. It's absolutely perfect.

    I can especially relate to the college life. Just started my first year and I have a ridiculously priced Chem book too. I wish I could finds such an awesome place to study. I might actually get something done... Then again, if guys that looked like Naruto and Sasuke were around, I'd get as much done as I do when I'm reading fanfics.

    I hope you update soon. I can't wait for their first date^.^
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  • From ANON - Angelic D.J. on November 13, 2006
    Wow, I really like it so far :)! Please you have to update, YOU MUST, pretty please with sugar on top ^-^!!!
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  • From MsKeller on November 13, 2006
    You do a great job making this entirely realistic, though Sasuke's note did sound a little off from the way you wrote his speech and the general tone of the fic. But I applaude you for starting a college fic that for once is more original then the roommates idea. I like this set up better especially since every college has a cafe like this. It was funny to see that you put the cost of the chem book in there but I'd almost say to take it out since it kind of disrupts the flow. Your comment later about it being expensive is all you'd really need. You do a wonderful job of keeping them in character, and their interaction is done very smoothly. Can't wait to see more!
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 13, 2006
    This is a great start, the feel and dialogue used gives it a strong sense of realism. Can't wait to read more!! :)
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  • From ANON - Briryan on November 13, 2006
    Great start. Can't wait to read more!
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  • From ANON - ai-chan on November 13, 2006
    how about naming it hmm "Sweet Latte" instead? lol
    jp =3
    aww i think it's cuuuuute!
    me lyke me lyke lol
    i love blushy sasuke
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  • From ANON - Delirious on November 13, 2006
    Brilliant. Wicked. Fantastic. I love this fic. And your style of writing... I almost felt as if I was sitting in the café myself! The descriptions of places and people is almost painfully perfect.

    *sigh* After reading so many bad fics, it's really great to read one as good as this; at least it keeps my brain somewhat intact to read a story with no typo's and lots of quality.

    You're really talented at writing. I hope you'll continue writing this story!
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  • From ANON - Nyuchan on November 13, 2006
    Yay! Nice beginning ^.~

    I'd really like to read more from this :D
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