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Reviews for Fraternity

By : oraday
  • From ANON - tasukigirl on December 08, 2006
    Your story is amusing, but are you aware that you write as if you're role playing. All the :glomps: and other indicated actions are actually more confusing than helpful. You also tend to jump points of views frequently and between having your characters talk to each other, think to themselves and talk to the audience, you're aiming the dialogue in too many directions at once. It's rather confusing at times. My suggestion is to slow it down and try maintaining one point of view. If you're hopping from character to character, perhaps indicate the switch somehow or other. Since this is a story and not an rp, I also suggest working on your narrative. Good luck.
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  • From ANON - KarMegas on December 08, 2006
    interesting...i wonder...what shall occur.
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 08, 2006
    Please keep up the good work!! I love this story, it is one of my favorites!!
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  • From ANON - Kiana on December 06, 2006
    So... I didn't realize how funny this was until about the fourth chapter, maybe the third. I was seriously cracking up at some of the lines. My favorite has to be "I'll choke Hyuuga with his stupid, aesthetically-pleasing hair..." I told my friends this [although they don't read fanfiction often, and read yaoi even less] and they laughed too. I REALLY like this, and I mean a lot. A few of my favorite fanfictions in this fandom have been discontinued or put on hiatus, and it saddens me greatly, but then I find amazing fics like this and get inspired to habitually check for updates. I didn't realize just how amazing it would be from reading the summary; I was put off by it, in fact, but this is deeper than you make it seem through the summary. I think that, apart from minor grammatical and spelling errors that may or may not be in this, this is an amazing read, and I'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys Sasuke/Naruto.
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  • From ANON - Carla on December 05, 2006
    I am very curious as to see what is bugging Itachi so much. Who is behind the mystirious* phonecall? Is he or was he connected to the Mafia? How is Kuubi* going to handle it, will he inform both Sasuke and Naruto so they can help him save Itachi from his past? Does Naruto know what Kuubi* did and who he killed? Great chapters and please update soon!

    Carla
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  • From ANON - Mija on December 05, 2006
    lol, yes this is as funny as the others chapters, Sasuke is soo perverted, but yes why has Naruto NOT told Sasu about Kyuu's b-day party??? is he hiding something?..and omg Iruka got LAID! and so did Kakashi the perv, and I like what naru calls him Kakashi hentai, almost sounds like Kakashi sensei but much more fitting lol, and awwwwwww Itachi bought them a house so they could all live together?? hmmm think Sasu might be happy to have Naru around 24/7 but I dont know if Naru can hadnle all the perverted ness lol, and awwwww Neji and Gaara are still concerned for Naru, and those two are just the cutest couple..cant wait to read more and thanks for the update report, much huggles and smiles Mija...:-)





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  • From ANON - Briryan on December 03, 2006
    Great chapter!) Could you please put me on your update list? Thanks. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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  • From ANON - Izzy on December 03, 2006
    =0 (yum)
    love it!!! go on!!!! que que
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  • From ANON - Exane on December 03, 2006
    Let me do this first...Thankies for the update alert!! I was going to check some stuff out, but fics come first
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  • From ANON - narusasu lover on December 03, 2006
    I love this story!!!!!!!! you need to update soon!!!!!!you knowi think the real question is WHEN ARE NARUTO and SASUKE GOING TO HAVE sex???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - sherine on November 27, 2006
    forgot to add my email pumkimbat17@yahoo.com
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  • From ANON - sherine on November 27, 2006
    chapter 5 still reading love the story it totally captivated me can't wait to see what gaara and neji's payback will be. please send me an update
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  • From ANON - Izzy on November 26, 2006
    hehehehehehehe i looooooove it!!!! u doing great! i just finfished chappie 5, plz send a update for chappie 6 and beyond plz, keep it coming and i love it

    edward_elric_forever15@yahoo.com``
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  • From ANON - Ladyfox39 on November 24, 2006
    *Blank stare* That was REALLY.....somethign else.
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  • From ANON - Kay on November 22, 2006
    I was wondering, if you could do a story about itachi and kyuuba background in this story?
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