Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Waking

By : Taes

From ANON - xiaobai7988 on November 11, 2006
AHHH!! I LOVE IT!!!

It's so...graphical, in a poetic way...*__*!! The emotions are so vivid that I can really imagine the whole thing as a...moving picture.

*__* reeally lovely. I want moreee~~ D8!!
Report Review
From ANON - forochel on November 08, 2006
I love you and want you and cry. Yes. Did I comment on the previous chapter? No? Okay, I was too busy crying and wanted to know more.

*such a masochist, wtf*

The pain. The pain, it's so...imbued in both of their narratives, it's so deep and cutting and yet still so dull until Orochimaru rapes Naruto again and then the wound just bursts again and the pain is sharp and fresh and ohgod Naruto. *pets him and nurses him all better and takes him away from Orochimaru* And Sasuke. The way he can't recognise Naruto is just heartbreaking. ;____; Or can he? I don't know. I'm confused.

Meanwhile, I still maintain that you do a remarkably realistic Orochimaru. :3
Report Review
From ANON - kitsukikun on November 08, 2006
*points* grimly beautiful =) I tend to um, nitpick... Yes, I remember this chapter.
When I come across your work, I often read at least parts of it out loud. Your words are pretty on my tongue, prettier on yours, I assume even if I get the inflections wrong.

That being said, the line, Sasuke, the serpent sings is bloody brilliant. Such slippery words from the mouth of the snake. Beautiful. I'm admittedly a big fan of alliterations and consonances. =)

I also like some of the random imagery... the lines that cuts deep and slides over / like slippery white / film that eats... yeah, pretty. (Though I must admit I don't get a very clear image of the whole poem... just something foggy, black, and searing white. I'm OK with that, if that was your intention) um, I like the image of the chapel of Sasuke's mind. I see stained glass eyes. makes me wonder whose mind is the cathedral of dolls and marionettes, but I believe I've commented on that before. the line Laughter tightens in my mind gives me a migraine just thinking about it. I can just imagine Sasuke cowering in the closet of his mind, trying to drown out Naruto the sun. (or moon) I also enjoyed the comment collage of time.

Um yeah, k... so I think I'm done for this mornin'. *toddles off to study kanji*
Report Review
From ANON - xiaobai7988 on November 08, 2006
T_T I love it. I never got around to comment on chapter 2 though...*guilty* so here's my comment. :)

For chapter 2...*___* I love all the imagery there...and Neji's comments when he's 'teaching' Naruto. I really, really love how you write Naruto's point of view. *loooves*

As for this chapter...T_T poor Naruto. And poor Sasuke as well. Naruto has to endure everything until he can execute his plan...while Sasuke's being towed for the ride without his consent. Then again, that's what happened when you let Orochimaru take over your body, stupid Sasuke. =_= And seriously, I love Sasuke's point of view of the story very much. Cause it gives a sense of...drifting and detachment...like you are subconsciously awake and you can see and hear everything around you, but you can't do anything too...*___* It's great and it's really pretty.

:) I'm looking forward to the next chapter~! ^__^
Report Review
From ANON - ayonoi on November 08, 2006
SIGH, we all know who pays the price when Sasuke sleeps inside Orochimaru. I really like what you did in this chapter, the mixed emotions Sasuke feels as he sees Naruto and as Orochimaru takes him, he can feel and yet, there is detachment. The morbid fascination that Naruto is truly his. I think Naruto had to remind himself of his goal as Orochimaru takes him, I guess you can say I REALLY want to see Naruto's side of this story.

I appreciated the lord's conversation and their role in this chapter. The fact that Konoha serves the Lords of Fire country is always intriguing to me, they are so absent and yet the village is so strong and independent. But these guys are traitors and the moment *they* have no power to control the village, they will turn against the Hokage, whether Tsunade or Oroshimaru, they would just find someone who seems strong enough to defeat either of them. Too bad that the plan failed because the most unlikely person defeated Orochimaru and did not unseat Tsunade from power. No wonder the lords were so pissed off when they saw Sasuke again after the rescue and were so desperate to get rid of him, marry him off, take his eyes so he would never remember their betrayal (oh but did he? I think some memories stayed and some didn't). See, I told you the rewrites gave a much better sense of the plot and the story. I like it a lot.

I think I am going to enjoy the moment Naruto does the sutra to Orochimaru and see what Sasuke feels at that moment. Can't wait.

Much love too yoouuuuuuuu
Report Review
From ANON - ayonoi on November 07, 2006
Damn it, I want to cry...I want to kick Orochi away from Naruto and run as fast as my legs can carry. I was torn between disgust and fascination at Orochimaru's behavior, like the sensuality was there but it was disgusting that even the words felt like violation. I was thinking that while Naruto was behaving like he had instructed, he could not help the real horror, fear and anger to come through, controlled but the sadness,damn it, that undid me.

Kabuto *wants to kick him*, how dare he touch my poor Naru-chan like that! I like how his characterization came through, false tenderness with a coldness of steel, a good liar, charming like the sneake he serves.

The last part was hard to read, my poor Naruto. In a way, the pain was all worth it, right?

*huggles* You are good...now to the next part.
Report Review
From ANON - kitsukikun on November 07, 2006
h-ok, so. This is me not studying for finals... *sigh*
You've thoroughly sated my ADD nature =) though I pray some of the pretty edited imagery will work its way back into your story.
so yeah, sinewy=good word. I like his quiet torment "in shame (or ecstasy?)" Though that particular torture comes out much better in the last poem, and it the next chapter. Comparing Orochimaru's tongue to a slab of lamb is disgusting. I can almost feel it on me... *shudders* Of course I'm deathly afraid of spit. Anyway, it is extremely effective. And lamb is the perfect choice, I think. It carries such heavy connotations. (my mum and her family calls me 'mein l�mmchen' (instead of mein liebchen?) or however you spell that, and that creeps me out a little. err, I don't eat lamb, you know. ) "Making nightmares of love" is very pretty. I can see their distorted shadows undulating in the light of the flickering flame. Like Naruto's watching a sick slasher movie--that it isn't happening to him. It's oddly erotic. And when his eyes return to the face of his tormentor, he finds himself broken. I likey alone alone alone. A manta in his head, I wonder.
Report Review
From ANON - attackfish on November 06, 2006
I like this chappie, even though it's short. :) It's short because you're switching PoVs with each chapter, yes?

Ah, poor, tragic Sasuke...I really don't think he knew what he was getting into when he abandoned Konoha.

I'm glad they're together now! :) More chapters soon, I hope. :)
Report Review
From ANON - ayonoi on November 06, 2006
You know I love you right...because there is nothing like thinking about Orochimaru taking Sasuke's body after reading ep. 309...sigh.
But I love this perspective of the trapped soul and the snake that has his prey and it is ready to eat it. Now to read the much awaited part on Naruto *squees like the fangirl she is*
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on November 06, 2006
I love this story! It is well written, if not a little confusing. It flows like water, and to me the taste in my mouth after I read it is that of fine candy or something else as sweet. Don't become discouraged by any bad review you may get. This is one story you should definately finish.
Report Review
From ANON - kitsukikun on November 04, 2006
wah! how did I miss chapter 1? *blames it on election day*
anyway, I am adoring your rewrite. still a tad vague, although I assume its on purpose, for either our own interpretations, or for your later use. I like vague, though. It leaves room for me to over analyze.
I really enjoyed the interaction between Neji and Naruto. It leaves my heart breaking.
"...it's the last I see of him..." I wonder who it is, that avoids the other. just on this mission or in Konoha as well. Or perhaps he never sees the man intimately again, and not just sex because we all know that Naruto has always been completely Sasuke's. Even the smoke kunoichi knows. And a disservice to whom, I wonder. might I assume your use of italics is not quite accidental? I'm over analyizing, again. see, I told you.
hm... I always saw Jiraiya as more of a Shinto lackey, not quite the type to memorize sutras. I'll buy it, though, besides, the scene is truly beautiful.
Your work is lovely. Thanks for sharing. =)
Report Review
From ANON - ayonoi on November 04, 2006
You know, I am glad you are posting the rewrites for this story because I really like it. I think I like some of the extra scenes, particularly the interactions between Naruto and his teachers. I don't know why but i like his relationship with Jiraiya the best, I wonder if it is because Naruto will attempt to do the one thing that he could not, and that must motivate to help the boy (and torture him with the Heart Sutra) but also to maybe some measure of sadness.

But I think I have to say that my favorite scene was between Naruto and Neji. Maybe because there are two sides of Neji here that I appreciate. The Anbu captain that is a bit upset that there is an addition to the team he did not expect which can actually kill them all. There is also an undercurrent of possession to me at least in his anger *why so soon, can you stay a little longer with me*. I would like to think that when they had sex, when Neji said "Let me pretend" what was not added was "to be Sasuke" and his hesitancy came from having someone that wasn't his or that wanted him that way (because Naruto is too obsessed with Sasuke to notice anyone else). Maybe he did want Naruto just not in those circumstances. I actually felt bad for Naruto as he wondered if Neji was thinking of him too.

Maybe I am reading too much in it given how much I actually like the NejiNaru pairing but the sense of regret and passed opportunities hang in the air.

Umm sorry, sometimes I get carried away with things *sweatdrop*
Report Review
From ANON - forochel on November 03, 2006
;____________;

Sasuke. *heartbreaks*

The writing style is slightly different..I think it's something about your sentences? It's more abrupt, and so nicely impactful. Not too jerky, but could do with some more polishing? The poetry and prose mix is not as beautiful or elegant...um, ARGH I DON'T KNOW IT JUST FEELS DIFFERENT OMG.

Mrrrrrr~ The little snippet of Naruto made me squee and then tumble back into Teh Valley Of Despair And Angst� in the next few sentences.

:DDD

After the operation everything is really smooth and absolutely Oto-nin-y. Er. If you get what I mean. But you do a fantabulously creepy Orochimaru that just fits and melds perfectly and...that's quite scary actually. *backs away from Taes* XDD

But Sasuke's sudden regret, much too late, and his despair is done beautifully and...oh, Sasuke. ;___________; NARUTO COME AND SAVE SASUKE OMG.
Report Review
From ANON - xiaobai7988 on November 03, 2006
D:...*stunned* I...love how you write it. (and is it me or is the style alittle different from your usual?)

Everything has this...dreamy feel...like Sasuke's there, but not, and he thinks he's dreaming, but he's not...

Lovely. I wanna read Naruto's too~! :D!!
Report Review
From ANON - fujiwara_san on November 03, 2006
...I feel too insignifigant and stupid to say anything. But wow.
Report Review