Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for The Sound of Dreams

By : Zrina

From ANON - Anon on January 31, 2008
Chapter 46: Wow, awesome first scene. I love how Sasuke�s feeling about Naruto. Oh, and thank you SO MUCH for working this scene in after so long. If it came any earlier, it would�ve been cheesy. . . . I like this bit: �While he loved being able to get [. . .] he didn�t want anyone else to know how fragile Sasuke could sometimes be.� That�s nailing it on the head. Totally. ^_^
Nice summary, Sai, especially the last part. I like how he knows the effects of it. . . . By the end of this scene: Heh. I wonder if Shino�s thinking something along the lines of �We are not getting paid enough for this.� ^^ Mm, maybe that�d be more Shikamaru (is he going to turn up at all?), but Shino does seem to be a little exasperated and tired of this whole ordeal.
I like Sasuke�s sudden attention to �the new Sharingan� and Sai�s �enjoyment� (is it real?) of Sasuke�s agitation. . . . Yeah, I like this scene. . . . ARGH, you couldn�t continue this scene in detail?! I�m going to DEMAND details from all these fade-out scenes!! (You don�t have to insert them into the story, just say . . . �deleted scenes� or something). These fade-outs are KILLING ME!!
. . . Okay, I STILL demand all the other fade-outs, but I�ll make an exception with this one! X) I love the effect it�s having on Kiba. And then the scent . . . XD Wow. . . . HAHAHA! �I need to use the bathroom.� XDD Poor Kiba. I wonder if Hinata�s hearing the commotion. . . . AHAHAHAHAHA!!! XDDDD �You gotta be kidding me.� XDDDD Are they sure they shouldn�t just go deliver a report to the Hokage?? I mean, Sai might be sure, but what about the rest of them? ^^ I�m also wondering what everyone�s behavior will be like in the morning. X)
And I changed my mind. I want details for both sessions as well as the half-hour pause in between from the other side of the room. XD That has got to be too good to miss. ^^

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From ANON - Anon on January 30, 2008
Chapter 45: Nice opening. . . . Beautiful first scene.
Oh man, that�s creepy. Naruto�s unconscious but looking around. Yikes. . . . Jeez, that was creepy but I liked it. (I�m praying like hell that nothing more happens between Orochimaru and Sasuke, though. That just turns my stomach.)
I like Sasuke�s POVs warring with each other.
. . . Like an itch, that curse mark is. Or a virus. . . . Whoa, that was neat. �Are you saying that you�re broken?� Good one. . . . Man, this scene is unusual. It�s really good, I�ve just never seen another one quite like this. . . . Interesting metaphors. . . . YESSSSS!!! One of them admits it!!! ^_^

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From ANON - Anon on January 30, 2008
Chapter 44: (*snicker*) �Let�s go say �Hi!�� XD . . . Okay, that sounds more like Hinata. . . . Heh, Shino�s argument with this girl (is it Sasame? I�m not sure). . . . Sai�s weird reactions (still hasn�t got the hang of them, has he?). . . . Yay, peacemaker Kiba. ^_^ Kinda odd, but I like it and it works in this situation. HEH! �Runt of the litter,� good one, Kiba. ^^ . . . Oh, I see, Hinata only stutters around Naruto. That makes a lot of sense, but call me narrow-minded, but I have a darn hard time hearing her without the stutter. Hee hee, she�s giggling! ^_^ . . . �[. . .] if you knew him well, was standing a bit stiffly.� I guess you�d HAVE to know him pretty well, then! Oh, FINALLY! Sai says something really weird to Sasuke�s face! XD Oh no, now Kiba joins in! XDD . . . �Shino figured it must be a genetic trait [. . .] possessed that same ability.� Good one. . . . I�m okay with Hinata now. . . . Heh. �Sai!� �Yes.� �Sasuke!� �What?� �Do you mind!?� �Not at all. Want me to go into details?� �No!/Yes!/No!� XDDD Poor Hinata. ;) . . . Oh, haha, didn�t quite forget about that, but glad for the reminder anyway: They have to stay. ^^
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From ANON - Anon on January 30, 2008
Chapter 43: Nice opening. (My Favorite Novelist Alert!)
I like the �Flicker on/Flicker off� effects. . . . Wow, what a change. You�re right, this is a little different from earlier chapters. . . . That creature-thing was interesting; it reminds me a little of Envy from FMA. . . . �He had to [. . .] He had to [. . .] He had to [. . .]� Good paragraph. . . . I get a feeling from this scene that something/one in Naruto�s going to get loose(r). . . . I like the paragraph where Naruto throws up. . . . I like the paragraphs starting with �One immediately threw itself at the abomination� (Favorite Novelist Alert!) . . . The hazy chaos of this whole scene is excellent.
The simplicity of Sasuke�s thinking is . . . interesting. Not bad, just interesting. Maybe my perception�s off a bit, but it reminds me a little of Naruto. . . . �However, he knew that game as he could play it himself.� Like that bit; it is kind of a game, isn�t it. . . . Okay, that�s weird, I thought Sasuke�s sword couldn�t be blocked unless you block his arm. . . . �Couldn�t be that hard if Naruto had learned it?� (*shakes head slowly*) Sasuke . . . you still don�t get it, do you? . . . Love this: �The lights in this place were really f***ing starting to irritate him.� ^^ . . . Ooh, ouch, tail. Oh boy! The curse seal! Fancy paragraph: �The sight was almost beautiful in a macabre sort of way. [. . .]� That�d be a great drawing. . . . O.O What an ending!
I like this line: �Naruto found the stairs by almost falling down them.� Under normal circumstances, that would be funny, but it�s amazing how serious it is in this situation. . . . Haha, I like this one: ��I�m glad I�m not in critical condition,� a faint voice said dryly from below them. �I would be dead by the time you two got around to making a decision.�� Kinda reminds me of Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park: �Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend.� XD

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From ANON - Anon on January 30, 2008
Chapter 42: I like the complexity of the jutsu. It can cause a lot of damage, but the problem is in the situation where they could use it. It seems to take a lot of preparation and the right circumstances. Whoever they�re aiming it at could easily (maybe) get out of the way before Naruto and Sasuke can start directing it. . . . Wow. You know, I was often thinking of a mixture of elements that would cause a ton of devastation. And here it is. Small world, huh? I hope nobody�s nearby. I wonder what the locals will think. . . . �Kay, that was disturbingly funny: �Hey, Sasuke . . .� �What, usuratonkachi?� �The trees are on fire.� . . . I like that paragraph: �They quickly decided [. . .] which then digressed [. . .] which then morphed [. . .] which then progressed [. . .]� ^^ HA! Naruto�s got a point at the end too (no pun intended). XD . . . And a hilarious end to the scene. (You know, I�d love to see that scene in detail as well.)
First line of the next scene, and already I love it. . . . I�m a little confused about the conversation, though. . . . Interesting ending to the scene. Will the next scene begin with the answer to that?
Yup. ^^ Poor Naruto. Oh wait, Sasuke found something. . . . Aw, that�s sad, Naruto�s homesick. :( Aw, Sasuke�s getting sweet! :heart: That�s an interesting ending paragraph; it�s like a role-reversal for them, sort of.
�Ripples appeared under his skin?� I wonder what that�s about. . . . I like the bit about Sasame holding a boy and Sasuke holding a girl. I�d like to see a picture of the guys in their Anbu disguises sometime.
I like the bit about Naruto enjoying being held before it turned the other way around.
Oh, excellent! �Do you have nightmares?� �. . . Sometimes.� �He makes them go away.� �Yes, he does.� That was great. :) I wonder if Naruto will wake up to discover this; that�d be cool to see his reaction.
Heheh, �Are you sure?� BARK! BARK! YIP! Etc. �Okay, okay, I was just asking!� . . . I like the whole dialogue between the tracking team. And Sai�s little slip with Kiba�s correction (although I�m not sure if I�ve ever heard of it anyway) and the following conversation about it. For some reason, I�m having a hard time hearing Hinata, but she�s another character I have trouble with unless she stutters. . . . Shino was being funny? Sai, I�m with you on this, I don�t get it. . . . Oh, great last line, too! :D I wonder if they�re ever going to catch up with Sasuke and Naruto.

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From ANON - Anon on January 30, 2008
Chapter 41: I was gonna complain about you not doing the smut scene (logical or not), but never mind. I look forward to it in chapter 45! ^_^
Oh yeah, workers. Sasuke, I�m totally with you. Get out of his house and leave them in peace!! . . . Hmm, I wish I could�ve seen that morning scene, but it�s probably better imagined with hints (*sigh*). You know what I�d love to see? Naruto and Sasuke in the morning, just waking up and . . . cuddling or something (*blush*). . . . Ooh, Sasuke�s jealous. (!) I like the orange reference! ^^ Aww, cute little affectionate pose (I�d like to see that drawn sometime). :heart: Okay, I can understand Sasuke�s hypersensitivity, but inviting Sasame to lunch is called �being polite,� Sasuke, dear. ^^ . . . Hahaha! Naruto�s tongue! XD Ohhh-hohoho, �Just proclaiming my territory.� Sexyyyyy! ^_^ Personal question, Zrina: �armguards� and �tight, form-fitting clothes� . . . judging from your LJ profile, I woulda thought those�d fall under the �feather� category, not the �chicken.� So why in this story they�re under �chicken?� . . . Haha, I like Sasuke�s voiced opinion on girls. And the �He�s not my leader� comment. Those are so HIM! ^_~ (This might be a favorite scene of mine.)
Mm, I hope Sasuke beats her but is satisfied with her all the same. Although, if part of this stems from jealousy, he probably won�t be. . . . Oh, cool, I like the fight scene and how we�re watching it from the side and then suddenly Sasuke says that out loud. . . .

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From ANON - Anon on January 29, 2008
Chapter 40: God, I am so with you on that, Naruto (first paragraph). . . . Okay, they�re done, I hope this is taken favorably. . . . Good. Call me paranoid though, but that�d be funny if Ren had some hidden agenda; not funny-haha, but funny-uhoh.
Hm, I feel a smidgen of sympathy for Orochimaru (just a smidgen, mind you), but not enough to want to save him. Despite his current predicament, he�s still dangerous; he has malicious thoughts. . . . This scene . . . it�s damn near poetic! I like! . . . S**t. He has a plan? Kinda figured by now, but the sound of it still makes me nervous. . . . Good luck, man (actually, not really, I don�t want you to succeed--although, knowing this story, you probably will at least partway), but do you know that Kabuto�s dead?
Heheh, �My eyes are up here.� ^^ . . . Nice logic, Sasuke. Oh, and nice understanding too. Ooh, and nice parting line! :D
I like Kiba�s opinions about Shino and Sai. And I liked the paragraph starting with �Gee, why didn�t I think of that.� . . . O-okay! That was a rather odd note to leave off on. O.o

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From ANON - Anon on January 29, 2008
Chapter 39: Aww, tapering off on the hot scenes? Well, guess I�m done with this story, goodbye! . . . Kidding! XD It�s kind of a pity, but smut ain�t everything. I�m gonna read this through to the end!! ^_^
Interesting first scene, but it�s a little hard for me to imagine Naruto wording stuff quite like that. (By the way, if this sounds extra-critical, it�s because I�ve been a little distracted and haven�t been able to get around to reviewing this story for a while.) I like the part where Sasuke added �legitimate,� though. . . . I like how you thought out the planning of all this--the pros and cons and arguments. . . . I like this part: �[. . .] prisoners that we take.� 'Not that I would take any,' he thought to himself. . . . I would�ve thought they�d�ve thought of the need for proof before presenting their ideas to Hanzaki, though . . . ah well, I guess it makes for an interesting story. ^_^ . . . Hoo boy, that elder better be good, I mean it; Sasuke had BETTER come out of this okay, grrr. . . . And now, at the end of this chapter, I�m hoping that Naruto comes out of this okay as well; wouldn�t it just suck if this is where everything went wrong? (You�re good at this, Zrina. Look at the way I�m reacting!)

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From ANON - Anon on January 29, 2008
Chapter 38: Whoa, I like that conversation and then the argument and especially the line that says �It�s good for you that I did get out, �cause by then you�d be the snake�s whore and your brother would still be alive.� I like the effect it had; I knew it would come before I started reading the next paragraph. . . . Oh, and the sudden confusion. . . ! I like it how Sasuke and Naruto are growing closer all the time. I�m glad it took this long before some of the more sentimental lines come in. Some stories have it in the first few chapters or have it as a oneshot, but you�ve worked it in and it�s not so weird. . . . I really like that scene. By this time in the story, there�s absolutely nothing weird or OOC about it. Good job.
While Shino�s not my favorite character (I don�t like him much), that was a good scene of his point of view. I like Kiba�s thoughts of �there�s this, but then, but okay that makes sense� and all that. Mm, I think Hinata�s a little OOC, though. I mean, I guess it is possible for her to want those things, but maybe not in quite those terms. An alternative is that maybe she thinks those things but doesn�t act that way out loud. I like the bit about her POV on Sai�s smile, especially that last line in the paragraph; that was a bit more like her, in my opinion.

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From ANON - Anon on January 29, 2008
Chapter 37: Just had a funny thought about this first scene: That�d be funny if those girls that �sidled up to them and laughingly had led them away with promises of �getting what they came here for�� turned out to be real prostitutes, and Naruto and Sasuke, thinking the girls were undercover ninja, would be all like �whoops, where are we?� when the girls start trying to lapdance them. ^^ . . . Wow, Sasuke looks delish. . . . I like the tension in the scene of �what does he know�/�what are they expecting�/etc.
Little Error: �We can�t say the seal is full-proof, but like Sasuke explained [. . .]� Actually, you mean �foolproof.�
Oh, shoot. Orochimaru�s pushing at the seal? That�s not good. Expected, but not good. . . . I like this line: �One only had to ask Sasuke to confirm it, as long as one didn�t mind getting incinerated by a fireball afterwards.� ^_^
I like Sasame�s story.
Grammar Error: In the very last paragraph, there�s a sentence beginning with �Who would of thought.� I know it sounds like that, but I think you mean �Who would�ve thought.�

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From ANON - Anon on January 29, 2008
Chapter 36: Uh-oh, Sasuke�s not going to be amused. Well, I dunno, he�s lightening up. Still doubt it, though. . . . Oh boy, I can�t wait for the scene to find Sasuke�s substitute outfit, I can just tell that�s going to be fun. ^^
I like the whole sparring scene. I wonder if it was hard to write, because a lot of authors say that fight scenes are. . . . I like Sasuke�s compliment to Naruto; it didn�t surprise me too much because it was worked into his character; I could hear him saying it. . . . I also like his slowly increasing sense of humor. . . . Aww man, that was disappointing. I wanted to see Naruto �get nailed to the tree� too. :(
I like the comment on Naruto�s stitches and sewing. It makes sense. . . . Heheh, I like the bit about Naruto saying what he will be to Sasuke and what he won�t be--and why. ^_^ . . . �Sasuke didn�t like unknowns. [. . .]� Good one. . . . �Mate . . .� Has a nice sound to it. . . . Uh-oh, he wants Sasuke to beg, I bet! . . . Oh, no, I was wrong. Man, each of your hot scenes are unique! ^_^ . . . �Drifted down� Haven�t heard that one before; nice.
Aww, aren�t we going to see Sasuke �nail Naruto� again? (*makes sad puppydog eyes*)

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From ANON - Anon on January 28, 2008
Chapter 35: I like all the little twists and incidents of this story! We have Naruto and Sasuke as fugitives avoiding two countries and having their whole business; Sai�s team looking up info; this clan�s problems; and Orochimaru scheming. It�s soooo cool!! ^_^
Whoa, what an abrupt beginning! O.O I like the line, � Sasuke saw stars, but he wasn�t sure if that was from the pleasure or his head slamming back into the stone floor.� . . . Wow, sudden ending, too. I like the simplicity of the scene and the message it gave: �Mine.� �Yours.� That�s all. :)
Ha ha. �Five?� �Yes. Me,� holds up one finger, �and you,� and holds up the other four. X) . . . Oh gosh. XD �Naruto held up a finger as well.� LOLZ! �That�s cheating.� And even MORE lolzez! �An ass is the thing you are groping.� XDDD Where do you get these ideas?? . . . XD Sasuke tricked Naruto into thinking he was pissed when Naruto said �Yes, dear.� . . . Oh man. �Pffffftt.� XDD
Oh, that�s a clever bit. �You can�t fight someone with etiquette.� �Shows how much you know, dobe.� Really clever. Kinda reminds me of something from the movie �The Mask of Zorro.�
Oh good, we�re hearing from Sai�s team, I was wondering where they�d gone. . . . Haha, �How many more f***ing shoes do you have left to drop?� And then a great ending leading from that little question. ^^

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From ANON - Anon on January 28, 2008
Chapter 34: Okay, I agree about the fillers being evil, but to me they�re still OCs (just not your OCs).
Oh jeez, �One of your damn clones just grabbed my ass.� �Hey! That�s my ass, hands off!� XDDD . . . . Ooooh, �Hell Fire jutsu.� Scary. . . . Alright, interesting, a girl who�s vocally not taken with Sasuke (I�m not counting Tenten, Temari, Hinata, or Tayuya cuz they just never said anything). . . . Hey, cool; when a character is doing a monologue, you break it up into paragraphs and leave off the end quote. That�s something you also don�t see a lotta fanfic writers do; they usually just keep it all one long paragraph. . . . Hee hee, I like Naruto�s �discreet� flipping-off at Sasuke. ^^ And, ha ha, he�s clueless to her awkwardness.
Great last sentence.

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From ANON - Anon on January 28, 2008
Chapter 33: See, Sasuke? Who said that act labeled you as �submissive?� ^_^
I like how Sasuke�s trying to read Naruto to get hints and cues. I love the �begging.� And the sudden threat. X)
Something I like about your sexy scenes is that I can �feel� what your characters are feeling. That�s not something that�s easy to get across. I�m referring to a paragraph near the end of this scene, the one that contains �He felt the Sharingan flare wildly.� That paragraph was especially vivid.
I like the ending scene with the OCs. It keeps the plot moving strong. ^_^

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From ANON - Anon on January 28, 2008
Chapter 32: �Who are you and where�s my bastard?� XD �Ahh, there you are.� XDD
�Hated cold� did he? Funny. He�s pretty cold himself. ^^ Maybe that�s why he�s irritable a lot of the time.
Okay, that�s just scary: Sasuke lighthearted? O.O
. . . Man, damn near poetic. . . . Whoa. . . . �A hard but chaste kiss,� eh? Kinda hard to picture. . . .
Oh, hey! Interesting ending, but you can�t leave me hanging like that! You caaaaaaan�t!

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