Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for The Sound of Dreams

By : Zrina

From ANON - Anon on February 06, 2008
Chapter 60: To your AN: You sure were right about the need for some levity. Trust me, though, I stand by what I said before completely, but my head�s a little clearer now. Don�t think I won�t be angry if this doesn�t turn out okay, though; the levity has to be �worth it.�
Yeah, that�s what you think, Orochimaru (I have no idea what I�m talking about, but I�m trying to keep faith).
Ohhh, good luck, Togimeishu, I�ve got my toes crossed (because I can�t type with my fingers crossed). . . . Ooh, wow, nice effect on Orochimaru�s daughter.
Hee hee, I like everyone�s comments around the fire, heh, and Hinata�s elbow. . . . Huh??? What do all these words mean?? �Kaa-san?� �Tou-san?� �Chichi?� . . . I like Kakashi�s and Sasuke�s quiet words, and Sakura�s private thoughts. Mm, and I like Akamaru. :heart: . . . Good line: �A surprised Sakura was not always a rational Sakura.� Got that right. . . . I like this conversation between the girls. And the one between the rest of them. Hee hee, �Prince Frigid.� Tenten reminds me of my cousin. Hee hee, Sai�s �Yyyeps.� . . . Oh, JEEZ. Sai drew a SKETCH of THEM--?! O.O XD . . . Hahaha! They�re all supplying synonyms. XD . . . Nice move, Lee. Go save him, Tenten.

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From ANON - Anon on February 06, 2008
Chapter 59: I like the paragraph about how the Akatsuki leader led to the evil Itachi. . . . Hm, that makes sense, �There had been no future for him in the Leaf,� even without slaughtering the clan.
Nice save, Sasuke. . . . �The little leech?� Do I hear some affection in that? . . . Heh, nice repetitions of �Start from the beginning.� . . . Heh, I like that part: �I am an Uchiha.� . . . I like Sasuke�s story. It�s neat hearing it and not just witnessing it. . . . Interesting effect of the Sharingan trying to activate. . . . I like the interaction between Sasuke and Tsunade for this whole scene.
Heheh, Kakashi talking to Akamaru. . . . Hee hee, calling Sasuke a �wayward student.� I like that.
Oh, interesting. Sakura sees Sasuke. . . . �Those eyes did not belong in that face.� Couldn�t put it better myself. . . . I don�t blame Sakura for her confusion. . . . This is cool, this whole interaction between Sakura, Sasuke and Hiroki. (Hmm, Hiroki does seem to produce interesting interactions, doesn�t he?) . . . Great ending. I don�t know what else to say about it. It�s just . . . great.

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From ANON - Anon on February 06, 2008
Chapter 58: Huh? Who found him?
I like the interaction between Hiroki and Sasuke. . . . Huh, that was funny. When Hiroki said, �And when we get him back, we can be a family, right?� I immediately said, �I hope so.� Then I continued reading and found Sasuke saying the exact same thing. Huh. . . . Oh. God. You made the kid say those dreaded English words. I�ll forgive it if it�s just his personality, though.
I like Sai calling out the distances. That�s clever. . . . Alright, Sai�s doing the right thing. It�s just the wrong person. . . . I like the effect of Sasuke showing them Naruto�s eyes. And I like that bit in parenthesis. . . . Hiroki�s so cute.
I like that image of Tsunade looking out the window. That�d be a great drawing. . . . Wuh-oh! Good ending.

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From ANON - Anon on February 06, 2008
Chapter 57: I like this interaction between Kyuubi and Naruto. Come on, you guys, you can make it!
. . . What? His eyes? . . . . . . . . . No. No. No. NO. NO! Please get them back!! GET THEM BACK!!!!!!!!! . . . Really, Togimeishu? Maybe Sasuke won�t care anymore. Unless it�s for Naruto�s sake. But I�m hoping Sasuke can shove some more backbone into Togimeishu (not that he doesn�t have one); he needs balls of steel to get through this. I like his actions to get himself and Sasuke out of there. . . . Huh, he can use Shadow Clones?
. . . He still has his eyes? It�s just the Sharingan that�s gone? . . . Okay, that�s a little better than I thought. It�s a step, at least. . . . Oh. They�re Naruto�s eyes. Romantically I like it (so long as they each get their own eyes back in the end). It�s still better than nothing. . . . Neat ending, but I�m hoping for things to get better. I�m still not too happy.

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From ANON - Anon on February 06, 2008
Chapter 56: God, this guy is despicable. Ren, do everything in your power to get Naruto and Sasuke okay! . . . I liked the part when Orochimaru growled at Ren. . . . This story had BETTER turn out good. In my opinion, sad endings cancel out all worth in a story. (*growl*) Of course, there�s nothing I can do about it either way, but . . .
You tell �im, Kyuubi. I�m so totally with you. (So long as you hold to that and don�t hurt Naruto or Sasuke in the process.) . . . HAH! Sucker! >:D
Kyuubi�s POV was interesting. . . . You gotta convince Naruto how to fix this with the new bonds, Kyuubi.
NOOOOOO!!!!! >:(

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From ANON - SakuraKissy on February 05, 2008
GAAAAH! I started to read this on FF, then I noticed you had an AFF. I was like w00t w00t! AND I READ ALL 73 CHAPTER IN ONE DAY!!!! >>
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From ANON - Anon on February 04, 2008
Chapter 55: Okay, the first scene was good, but even if that question WAS a delay tactic, how come he didn�t wait for an answer? Or why didn�t Orochimaru�s boys tell him?
Oh man, I don�t like the carving Naruto�s skin. I�m probably going to be disappointed, but I hope that�ll heal over completely. . . . You�re going to torture your readers for several chapters, aren�t you? So mean. . . .
I like this scene with Tsunade and Sakura. I like Tsunade�s musings on relationships.
I�m a little apprehensive of the Akatsuki�s next objective. If everything goes to plan, we all lose. On the other hand, if it doesn�t go to plan, then this could be a chance for Naruto to regain control (or a step in control) of his body, due to chaos. That sounds very rough, but . . . well.
Mm, I�d like to see a picture of this girl. . . . F***. I hope nothing like that works with this girl and Sasuke. Damn it. . . . Come on, come on, Togimeishu! You can do it! I�m counting on you!

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From ANON - Anon on February 04, 2008
Chapter 54: I liked the bit when Orochimaru scared the shinobi with his stare. Very dramatic. . . . Yup, Naruto was right: Kyoshiro is a serious booty-kisser. . . . Oh, jeez, Ren, watch out! . . . Hm? That�s interesting. Lingering effects from the Kyuubi? Trauma? Hmm. Also, does Orochimaru know that Kabuto is dead? . . . Oh man, if you�re going to try anything risky, please succeed, Togimeishu. . . . Oh yeah! I forgot what the artist�s name was! Huh! Small world! . . . Oh shit, seminal samples? Damn. . . . (?!) Orochimaru had kids?! The heck! By who?? . . . She sounds kind of tormented. I hope someone can save her.
�Shit flowed downhill.� That�s good. ^_^ . . . �He could feel the teenage hormones swimming through his bloodstream . . .� I like that bit too. It�s kind of an unusual idea. I kinda took it for granted when Orochimaru moved into a new body. It never occurred to me that there would be effects from the age of the body, but it makes total sense. . . . Yup, and the language creeps back in, too. But . . . those body parts are NOT YOURS, Orochimaru! They are NARUTO�S! NOT yours, whether you reside in the body or not! Graarrr!! >:( . . . I like how he�s not used to the teenage body and how emotions leak in with the physicality. His fit made total sense; he�s very confused about the effects the Kyuubi had on him, and now that he�s physically in a teenage body--a body that belongs to someone who�s wrapped up in an intimate love affair--his emotions are going out of control. . . . Once again, I like the scared ninja. . . . And his mood gets lighter--mood swing, yup.
(*sigh*) On finishing this chapter . . . I like it, it�s excellent material to read, but this had BETTER end happy! I�m going to be FURIOUS if it doesn�t!!

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From ANON - Anon on February 04, 2008
Chapter 53: I like your insight on Orochimaru�s half-picture.
Alright, guys, you said it! (Maybe Hiroki will be able to help.)
Good, kid, don�t follow that bit of advice. X) . . . I like Kiba�s comment on arriving to the battle site. . . . Smooth one, Sai. He honestly can�t shut up, can he? :) . . . I like Kiba coaxing Akamaru, that was cute. . . . Oh, that was good. Sai knows that �F***� can mean either �sex� or an exclamation of �this is really bad.� So he thought �snog� would work the same way. Clever. . . . I also like the paragraph about Sai�s instincts. . . . I like Akamaru�s interaction with Hiroki.
Oh man, I was RIGHT earlier: Orochimaru had been getting used to the Kyuubi. . . . He�s so power-hungry, he�s partially blind.
I like the part about Kyoshiro�s problems. I thought earlier when the village was attacked while Naruto was away, �What timing.� Evidently, so did Kyoshiro; I didn�t expect that. . . . Interesting new development; who is this �she?� . . . And we hear a mention of Juugo! Cool! . . . I�m really curious about who �she� is.
You little afterward makes me curious about . . . what�s his name, Togimeishu. I wonder who he is.

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From ANON - Anon on February 04, 2008
Chapter 52: I approve of your paranoia about getting the story perfect ! :)
Hm, I think Kisame�s initial line was a little cheesy (sorry); the content is probably okay, it�s just the way it was worded (again, sorry). . . . �Everything seemed to fall silent in the spring afternoon.� Good. I hear that in other fanfictions sometimes, but you set it up really well. . . . Nice dilemma Naruto has with Kisame before the POV switches to the Uchiha fight. But I�m a little confused about something. I thought that once the sword grazes you, you can�t do jutsu for a while, not just the current one. . . . I thought Itachi�s and Sasuke�s conversation was a little cheesy (sorry!), but it led up to the part about �Because that will be the price you pay here today,� and so on. I liked it from there on. . . . I�m in a little dilemma about Itachi�s warning to Sasuke: I like it, but at the same time I�m having a hard time seeing/hearing him saying/doing that. . . . I like the blade�s pain. . . . Okay, that ending was interesting!
Crap, don�t get out! (!!!) Naruto, WAKE UP! . . . Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!! Now I�m mad! Shino, you have no idea how much I�m counting on you right now. Please, please, PLEASE someone save both Naruto and Sasuke!

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From ANON - Anon on February 04, 2008
Chapter 51: Oh, clever line: �almost like a cat nuzzling against him, scent-marking him.� I�ve heard versions of that idea, but I like this way. . . . Heheh, I like the reoccurring joke about the container with the lube in it. ^^ (. . . Evidently, �ero-sennin� was a boyscout once. ^^) . . . Heheh, I like Naruto�s threat. ^^ . . . Oh god, STOP REMINDING ME, YOU�RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY, DAMMIT!! T_T . . . Oh, beautiful. . . . Aw man, that was sweet. But the last line of the scene makes me a little sad: �If it had been important, Naruto was sure his lover would mention it to him again tomorrow.� Dammit, it IS important! God, I hope Sasuke says it again at a good time! Oh, and PLEASE let this not be their last moment together alive; I want them to live happily ever after! T_T T_T T_T
YESSSSS!!! You MUST LIVE, Sasuke!! THANK YOU! . . . That�s neat, what Shino�s telling Sasuke here. . . . Aw, hey, Sasuke didn�t get around to training Naruto to use a sword? Bummer, that would�ve been cool. I demand scenes of that later! (If not in this story, then in a sidestory.)
This is an interesting paragraph, about Sasuke hating yet admiring his brother, and how if he managed to succeed in killing him, then everything insofar would have been worth it. That�s a remaining contrast to what he was thinking the night before and earlier this morning; the Sasuke of those times might have thought that NOTHING was worth nearly killing Naruto. But I could be wrong; maybe it was worth it to find out how close they are. . . . I like the differences in Sasuke and Naruto when it comes to negative emotions, how it boosts one and hinders the other. . . . I like Naruto�s last thoughts in this scene.
I like Sasuke�s last note to Naruto.
Something that you do in this story: You mention the Sharingan spinning. Normally, I don�t like to picture that; I like them holding still, unless they�re developing a new mark in them. But I�m okay with it in your story.

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From ANON - Anon on January 31, 2008
Chapter 50: Interesting start, showing Sai at a loss. He doesn�t know what will work exactly, but he knows what�s likely to not work. He�s doing a pretty good job, though, considering, taking the cautious approach. (I�m kind of like that around kids; I know what not to do, but not sure about what to do. And he makes more progress than I do.) I like the paragraph that starts with �Sai frowned down at the boy in confusion.� I totally agree with him in that paragraph.
A little change I�d make in a sentence (in my taste, anyway): �Of course he had no doubt that Shino would have never let him leave alone with the two misplaced-nin (he refused to call Naruto a �missing-nin�).� Make the single-quotes into double-quotes and add parenthesis (also keep whatever was italicized; comments won�t let me).
Hm, that is interesting. Curious.
Hm? What�s bothering Sasuke? . . . Ohhh! That�s cool! Itachi wrote a message. . . . Heheh, �Why were all shinobi so strange?� :) . . . Awesome ending.
. . . Oh, no. Sasuke, don�t! . . . Oh boy, this scene is scaring me. All these �last time� and �last moments� T_T . . . I hope this scene doesn�t fade out.

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From ANON - Anon on January 31, 2008
Chapter 49: Okay, that part where Naruto needed to use the bathroom . . . I liked that, it made total sense. . . . Man, I hope they wake up soon.
Heheh, I like Sasuke�s grogginess. . . . Boy, they get back to the village, and they find this mess. What timing. . . . I like the last bit with Ren and what he said about inner demons.
Oh, that�s a great thing to say: �Sometimes you have to cry out the bad tears so that you can make room for the happy ones.� Perfect. . . . Hmm, now it�s a question of whether to leave him with someone or not. I like Sasuke�s reaction, �the concerned and haunted look in his onyx eyes.� He�s probably troubled because he can relate to Hiroki, but he still wants to keep to his own agenda--and yet it�d be hard to involve the kid, but they can�t just leave him now. What a dilemma.

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From ANON - Anon on January 31, 2008
Chapter 48: Heh, knew the report was by Shino. ^^ . . . Ooh, I like Tsunade�s sudden dread about Naruto, the �kage,� and the new Otokage. . . . Okay, I like Iruka�s and Kakashi�s argument, but I think Iruka�s accusations are a little too wild; Sasuke did have other problems at the time. (!) Whoa, I like that part when Kakashi suddenly grabs Iruka. And--. . . owwwwwch.
Mm, I understand that Sakura�s anxious. But I notice the irony of again, there is not much she can do. . . . Oh, Lee calls her Sakura-chan now.
(*sigh*) I knew Hiroki would be blamed for Hanzaki�s death.
That�s an interesting perception of Hinata: �She didn�t try to hide it.� Naturally, one would think she does try to hide it, but what you said also feels right. . . . Wow, I like the sudden trap. If those snakes are venomous, I hope they don�t kill him. :(
Same goes for everyone bitten. Uh-oh, I hope the genjutsu doesn�t make you see your teammates as enemies! O.O
Oh good, they�re not gonna die. From the snake venom. Ohhh, please, guys, don�t die! . . . Knew it, they�re attacking each other. . . . Alright, Sasuke figured it out! :D
That whole genjutsu/snake/genjutsu/fight scene was AWESOME!! :D

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From ANON - Anon on January 31, 2008
Chapter 47: In you�re an about snogging: If there is any confusion about the meaning, we could just say that maybe Sai got mixed up. ^^
Good beginning, beautifully worded opening paragraph, and I like the bit about Hinata�s routine, I don�t think about that too often. Aw, she did hear them. Heh, despite my issues about what is her and what isn�t her, I like the bit about her self-control. ^^ (I think I saw a fan-comic about that once.) . . . Oh, that�s a good line: �The heart went where it willed, not where it was bidden.� Is that your quote or did you get it from somewhere else? I like it. :) I also like the lines in the next paragraph; I don�t think My Favorite Novelist has worded it quite as real as you have, the feeling of not being happy but satisfied with accepting. And how she�s not exactly angry or hateful (some ff authors go that far), but a little bitter. And she accepts that she will probably get over it. I know exactly how she feels; I often think that way after a certain kind of disappointment. EXCELLENT wording, seriously. :) . . . I like that one solitary line: �Not that Hinata blamed them. Secrets were deadly things.� It has a sudden weight. . . . This scene between Sai and Hinata is intriguing; Sai�s crude, inexperienced socializing, and Hinata�s quiet and polite corrections. That�s probably how I would�ve handled it, too. Haha, that�s good: �Why is it rude? [. . .]� �. . .� �Yet, I think I will give you time to get over Naruto first.� That was cool; it shows that while still inexperienced, he is beginning to pick up little cues. . . . And yet, for a moment, Kiba caught up to Sai a little about public topics. That is typical, trying to demonstrate something, and then something happens to contradict it. ;) . . . Haha, Sasuke�s arched eyebrow and Kiba�s funny comment. ^^ Aww, I like that bit when Sasuke pauses behind Naruto and gives him a kiss; I don�t think I�ve read a scene in fanfiction or in real fiction (maybe) with a clear scene like that. Sweet. And very real. ^_^
(*sigh*) I figured he would be too, Naruto, you�re not alone. . . . Aw, that�s great, Naruto�s great with kids! (Better than me, little kids scare me.) . . . Hm, that is curious. He hasn�t spoken? I arched my eyebrow exactly with Sasuke.
Whoa. O.O I really didn�t see that (the murder) coming. GREAT job disguising it! :D . . . (!!!) �Glowing, green eyes?� Waitaminute, let me go back and check something. . . . (!!!) Something in Chapter 43? . . .
What the heck? What�s with this picture? :) Okay, Sai totally did that on purpose. He�s not that dense. X) . . . Hey, this caught my attention! �Sasuke, who was unfamiliar with Sai�s style, merely nodded.� XD I wonder if he�s going to be up late at night worrying about a caricature of himself coming to life like that. XD . . . This has got to be a trap. (!) Sasuke, are you crazy? Split up? Bad move. At least split up in groups. Good. I like your strategy, Sasuke. . . . Sai, stop being an ass. . . . Wow, you tell �im, Shino! . . . Wow, I like Sai�s moment there, that was cool.

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