Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for The Sound of Dreams

By : Zrina

From ANON - kai on March 08, 2008
perfect.
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From ANON - Anon on February 14, 2008
OVERALL: This is a story many fanfiction writers could learn something from. The grammar, the plot, the sentence structure, the characterization, the check-recheck-checkagain-etc of each chapter, etc. A true masterpiece among fanfiction. It�s too bad you can�t really publish or make money off of this story, Zrina; it�d be totally worth it�I�d buy two or three copies!

I await Dreams of Fire. I hope things work out in it. And I like how you kept regular updates for The Sound of Dreams while you were writing/posting it (even though I wasn�t reading it until it was completely finished). I hope the sequel be another long story (though I never want to find it hanging somewhere forgotten!).
THINGS I�M CURIOUS ABOUT IN THE SEQUEL: I wonder if Konohamaru will put in any more appearances. And what�s with all the animosity between Kakashi and Iruka? I like it. I�m also wondering what the Kyuubi�s part in the story will be. And will things get better for Sakura? Oh, and judging from the title, maybe there�ll be some more about that Hell Fire Jutsu. Oh, and we don�t know for sure if Orochimaru�s daughter really died. Oh, and I wonder if we�ll ever meet Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo; the latter two I�m especially interested in. I wonder if Takako turns up again (though I doubt it); if she does, REVENGE!! >:D And Hiroki�s pet!! What will it be?! And will Naruto learn how to use a sword??

I love your final note to everyone (the one in italics) and the preview of the sequel. Once again, with all seriousness, you should be a real novelist. You�ve got a gift for it.
I�ll be waiting for the sequel! ^_^

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From ANON - Anon on February 14, 2008
Chapter 73: What? This is the last chapter?
Heh, I like the way Kakashi, Gai, Sai, and Shikamaru are all sticking up for Naruto and lending their support. . . . I�m with you, Kakashi. Hopefully Sasuke won�t do anything stupid with it in the meantime. . . . Nice last scene with Naruto, Sasuke, Hiroki, and Sasame.
I like the ending with Itachi. But the very last bit confused me. The tube of semen sample is empty? Why? What the hell just happened?!?

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From ANON - Anon on February 14, 2008
Chapter 72: �A member of the family whose arrogance surpassed most demons� just as did their bloodlust.� I like that line, but I think Orochimaru could�ve given them a run for their money when it came to arrogance. . . . Alright, you said it, Naruto. You tell that fox. . . . Hmm, is this going to be an issue in the sequel? (I think I heard something about a sequel to this.)
I really think you should help, Sasuke. Don�t make it harder for him. . . . �children really in her mind� That sentence I would either put dashes around the edges or the sentence in parenthesis.
I don�t blame him, Sasuke, you look HOT! ^_^ . . . Good luck hiding the tail, Naruto. (!) I hope they don�t ask to see it! . . . I like Naruto�s advice about giving Iruka trouble. ^^ . . . Pleeeeaaase let this go okay! . . . �Kay, so far so good. . . . Shit. Knew it would happen. They may have had a horrible but maybe understandable idea in chapter 2 or 3, but now is just ridiculous. . . . You council freaks belong right with Orochimaru and the Akatsuki. I�ll never forgive you. Please, Zrina, let there be an uprising or something. . . . I like what Sasuke�s thinking, even if it�s not rational.

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From ANON - Anon on February 14, 2008
Chapter 71: My, that is a strange mixture of emotions. I don�t know if I can picture that. . . . I like the metaphors about when Sasuke was younger. . . . �It wouldn�t be easy for the two boys [. . .] not by a long shot.� Nothing ever is, Iruka. And it never has been, really. They�ll be fine.
(*snicker*) You should get together with Shikamaru sometime, Sasuke. You both seem to think girls are troublesome. ^_^ . . . I like the stiff politeness between Sasame and Sasuke. . . . Sasuke, Sakura had every right to tell you that. I know you don�t like it (I�m like you in that instance), but please forgive her, I beg you. And Zrina, PLEASE make things easier for Sakura; things have been really hard for her. . . . I like the conversation between Naruto, Tsunade and Sasuke. I�m glad she�s doing what she can for them and gruffly so. ^^ . . . Mannnn, I hope things work out. Mmm, nice challenge Sasuke. . . . Oh, I think I see now: Sasuke�s highlighting the threads to start with, so the Hyuuga can snip it. Clever. . . . �I�m going to assume that these are connected to the tails.� Something tells me that this is where things might get difficult. . . . I�m guessing it hurts because it�s changing some bone structure and anatomy. . . . Okay, what just happened to the Kyuubi?
Oh, no. Don�t tell me it was severed from the Kyuubi as well?!

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From ANON - Anon on February 11, 2008
Chapter 70: Nice beginning. I really like the second paragraph.
�Medical puzzle,� yup.
I like the first two paragraphs of the Hiroki-scene. It has great imagery. . . . Cute, I like Hiroki�s thoughts about animals. :heart: . . . Haha, he got hit with a tail. ^^ . . . Mm, good line: �He had seen people that were nice [. . .] were monsters that looked normal.� Very true. . . . God, is nothing sacred?!? And �What�s so amusing?� Why not �What�s so funny?� . . . I like the part starting with �Chichi, can we get a pet.� Sasuke�s getting soft spots. ^^ . . . Yeah, you should�ve known better, Naruto. ^^ . . . Hmm, Hiroki�s very perceptive, but the part where it says �this attention she wanted was in a form that should only come from his chichi� sounded a little too perceptive. Maybe if that part was worded just a little differently . . . but maybe it�s not possible. Eh, whatever. . . . Mm, I want Sasuke to be a little closer to Sakura. He seems to be just taking her for granted. I mean, she�s accepted that he won�t be hers, so can�t he forgive her wanting to be friends with him? What a stiff!

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From ANON - Anon on February 11, 2008
Chapter 69: OHHHHHH! CLEVER! :D . . . I like Sasuke�s reasoning, and I like what he said to Naruto about the clan. . . . Hmm, good question, Tsunade, about when Sasuke betrayed the village. . . . Ooh, your pushing it, Sasuke. . . . And she calls another good question! �Why him?�
Heh, trust Sasuke to teach anyone about dignity. Or Neji. ^^ . . . I love Shino�s line: �Lose something, Uchiha?� . . . This is cool. Once again, a great play of interaction between Hiroki and all people involved. . . . Interesting, the way Sasuke�s trying to help Naruto. I�m not quite sure what he�s doing, though. I hope the Kyuubi will be okay. . . . �ran flat out for ten klicks?� What are �klicks?� Alright, I like Neji. ^_^ . . . Ooh, tough luck, Naruto, two against one. Shower it is. ^^ . . . Hahaha, Naruto�s shedding! XD . . . Okay, I like playing with Hiroki, but still . . . dignity. I felt embarrassed reading that. -_-'' . . . Heh. �If you finish that sentence . . .� XD . . . I don�t blame you for being worried, Sasuke. It scares me too.

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From ANON - Anon on February 11, 2008
Chapter 68: Whoa, emotional pain becomes physical pain?
Nice message code. XD . . . I like this whole dilemma about Sasuke�s eyes. Another clever piece in the story. . . . Grr, KICK COUNCIL ASS! >:( . . . Wow, hot scene. (So was the one last chapter as well, sorry I forgot to mention it.) . . . I like that line: �Hokage-sama. Do you happen to have a spare hair-tie?� XD . . . Naruto�s punishment, while still awfully severe, wasn�t as bad as I feared, although the reduced pay makes me nervous; how�s he going to live? . . . No. NO. I don�t like Sasuke�s punishment. That�s too much. . . . Oh, wow, that takes the cake. Once again, KICK. F***ING. COUNCIL. ASS. . . . PLEASE.

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From ANON - Anon on February 11, 2008
Chapter 67: Council meeting? XP
Whoa. That�s one hell of a nightmare. And it really happened. It just wasn�t Sasuke and Naruto that happened.
By the way, thank you for making things turn out okay so far. I�m a very passionate reader, and I don�t like a lot of sad stuff (even though I may read it sometimes, lord knows why). . . .
Alright, thanks, Shino. ^_^ . . . Heh, �tails twitching irritably.� I like that one. . . . Ooh, circle, circle, circle. . . . Hee hee, �Move the tails.� Cute. . . . Oh, I like the ending to that scene, how they didn�t exactly voice it but they knew what they were talking about.
Heheh, see anything interesting, Neji? HAHA. That was great. XDD
First sentence, and already I�m thinking �. . . F***.� . . . Got that right, Tsunade, things are getting more complicated. Kick Council Ass! >:(

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From ANON - Anon on February 11, 2008
Chapter 66: . . . wtf? Oh, Sai . . . -_- . . . I�m going to kill him. . . . Listen to the lady, Sasuke. . . . Mm, I like the little attempt at humor at the end of the scene, but it was kind of sad.
This scene is sad, but it�s good. The one of Naruto thinking about the grim future.
I like Tsunade�s private thoughts during the kissing session between Naruto and Sasuke. . . . Jeez, Sakura, there�s a time and place, and this is neither; God, it�s so neither that it�s not even funny. . . . I like the bit about Naruto playing with his tails.
I hope things work out for Sakura. I feel kinda sorry for her.
I like the details of the surgery. The sudden ending caught me by surprise. I hope Sasuke will be okay (I mean, no permanent damage).

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From ANON - Anon on February 07, 2008
Chapter 65: Okay, I know Sasuke got a wing ripped off, but that�s happened several times in the manga, and he was all like �Meh, whatever.� Is it a change necessary for this story?
Wait, are those tails physical? They�re not just chakra-tails? . . . Nicely worded, Gai. . . . Heheh. �Even supernatural creatures are not immune to love�s powerful sway.� X)
Nice speech, Hokage. . . . I like what Neji�s seeing. Clever. . . . Weeks? *Phew* That�s better than I expected. Waaay better. . . . Oh, good! They can fix the eyes. . . . I�m with you all. Let�s hope these changes aren�t permanent. . . . Good luck, Tsunade. We�re all counting on you.
. . . Calm down, Naruto, calm down . . . shit, SOMEONE GET IN HERE, HE�S LOSING IT!!! I like the effects of each horror dropping one on top of the other and then the growing dread of Sasuke�s fate. . . . I hope someone can show him the truth of that soon, though. He needs love.

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From ANON - Anon on February 07, 2008
Chapter 64: The sudden switch in parties is interesting. Ohhhh, that makes sense. Orochimaru, Ren, Kyuubi, and of course Naruto are all interlinked together. So if one has a problem, it could cause another to have a further problem, and THAT rebounds. Interesting. Come on, doc, you can do it! Ren, pull through! We need you, man!
Oh, clever. Sarutobi summoned Enma and Enma became a spear; Gai summons the turtle and the turtle provides a shield. Nice. . . . Oh . . . Orochimaru�s soul was destroyed? Just like that? Weird. . . . Whoa, boy! The Mangekyou?! O.O
HAHAHAHA!! Sakura, kick that Kyuubi-ass! XD . . . And . . . that�s it? What the hell just happened?? (*blink*blink*)
Oh. Wow. That�s cool. I like the Kyuubi�s anguish. That�s a neat twist. I like it because it kind of shows how strong humans can be. . . . Wow. This scene is amazing. . . .
Oh, I hope they can fix Naruto . . . maybe it�s an effect of Naruto being inside the cage with the Kyuubi. God, I hope so.
I like it how Kiba called Hiroki �squirt�; that suits Kiba. :)
I hope Ren makes it.

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From ANON - Anon on February 07, 2008
Chapter 63: Interesting, Hiroki vs. Kyoshiro. That�d be cool if Kyoshiro got taken out. . . . I�m not too clear on what Hiroki looks like when he goes all lethal, I�d like to see a picture of that sometime. . . . (*GASP!*) No, Hiroki. . . !!!
Come on, Naruto. . . . come on. . . . nice metaphor about the champagne bottle. . . . Whoo, shockwave! . . . I like this dialogue between the Kyuubi and Orochimaru. Orochimaru kind of makes me think of a Sasuke who doesn�t learn anything and just keeps getting worse. . . . Huh? What just happened?
Heh, �Trust Itachi to use one of his favorite attacks against him.� A little cynicism, eh? . . . I thought that whenever someone goes Curse Mark, Level 2, their eyes turn yellowish. I know he has Naruto�s eyes, but still. . . . Oh, I like that bit: Sasuke�s perseverance is getting to Itachi. . . . I like Sasuke�s little speech to Itachi, but parts of it sound a little--I dunno--light? Something like that. Itachi sounds a bit like Gaara. (!!!) Whoa! Good one! �Hatred makes you nearsighted.� I like! . . . And I like the ending. That was awesome.
Um, the ending kind of confused me.

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From ANON - Anon on February 07, 2008
Chapter 62: I like Itachi�s first line to Orochimaru in this chapter. . . . I like Shikamaru�s instructions and insight. . . . This whole fight is interesting.
Heheh, nice one, Lee. Oh, Deidara bit him! . . . Oh no, PLEASE let Lee come out of this okay.
Careful, Hiroki!
Heh, nice one, Sakura. I like Orochimaru�s reaction to her. That must be weird for her, though; it�s Naruto�s body (very different from the last time she�s seen him), Sasuke�s eyes, and Orochimaru�s spirit. Yeesh. . . . AWRIGHT! EXCELLENT DIVERSIONARY FIGHT and GREAT LAST LINE, KAKASHI!
Hmm, �Do not make absolute statements on matters over which you have no control.� Smart words. And true. . . . I would�ve thought that Itachi would still think that Sasuke wouldn�t be worth killing, judging from his arrogance in this story. Sasuke kinda reminds me of Hinata in this scene. And of course that leads back to Naruto. They had better be okay. . . . I like the last line of the scene. Itachi missed the point. Sasuke said he�d do whatever he had to do to stop Itachi--that doesn�t always mean he will succeed personally. If there�s anything he can do, he will do it.
Okay, I don�t approve too much of the short version of �Kakashi-sensei.� It just sounded weird. . . . Whoa, a fight done completely in spirit. I wonder what Gai or Lee would say if they had witnessed this and told it to future generations. . . .

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From ANON - Anon on February 07, 2008
Chapter 61: Oh, thanks for the translations. ^_~
Yeah, Deidara, you scaaaaared of Itachi. I don�t blame you, though, he�s weird. ^^ . . . I like his POV, by the way. Hee hee, �A cheating arrogant prick.� . . . Oh, hey, Itachi turned it off for once. . . . �Don�t make me break that hand. It would interfere with our mission.� He sounds a little like his brother. . . . Hm, I think I�d make a small change in this sentence: �His overconfidence would [. . .] Itachi was more than happy to be the one [. . .]� Instead of �happy,� I would�ve used �willing� or something like that. Itachi never seems to be happy to me. . . . Oh man, that�s not fair. Orochimaru�s really pissing me off by stealing all of Naruto�s and Sasuke�s stuff. Sonovabitch. . . . Heh. �The creature was immune to his gaze, had armored scales, was fast, and was seriously starting to annoy him.� Again, he sounds like his brother. . . . I like the scene where Deidara recovers, beats the clones, and completely misses the tag. . . . I like the Kyuubi�s touchiness on the word �bitch.� . . . You know, Orochimaru�s so power-hungry that eventually it will override him despite all the precautions. (At least, that�s what I�m hoping, anyway.) . . . Wow, nice ending. The two desires meet. Like the earlier internal fight in chapter 45.

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