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Reviews for Breaking the Seal

By : PatPat
  • From ANON - Tristan on July 23, 2008



    I have to admit that your fanfic is a real piece of work...i actually felt compelled to call up an old girl friend during the duration of those chapters!! I haven't read a fanfic quite like this. The only piece of advice I can think of is to be a little less blunt. Remember your most passionate moments and try to incorporate that in those scenes. Remember the look in the other's eyes, the closeness, the hesitation, the very feeling of their touch. You have come close, but I have a feeling you can due better. If it takes longer to put a chapter out, then so be it. Readers will be more than happy when its worth their time in waiting. I have no idea if you are a woman or man. But, when describing an other sexes feelings, call up a friend to bullshit with. With that being said, i can't wait until your next couple of chapters. Goodnight
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  • From ANON - WS on January 09, 2008
    Cool story, definitely one of the more unusual writing styles I've seen. A few mistakes here and there, mostly grammatical, haven't really seen any spelling mistakes. Anyway, hope to read another installment soon.
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  • From darkangelthefallen on May 19, 2007
    love the story and i can't wait for the next one to come out

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  • From kbaudek on January 25, 2007
    An amazing Story

    Please Continue writing
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  • From darkninja on January 05, 2007
    what you have here is the makings of a good story. don't let what anyone say put you off from finishing it. waitin' for the next chapters hopee you don't let this die..... that would suck.
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  • From ANON - twistedmetal on December 26, 2006
    not bad keep it up good plot
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  • From ANON - Josh on December 11, 2006
    Hey Pat squared I love the story so far but in the beginning I kinda got lost and when you switch from past to present without warning I had to re-read it a few times and made sure I would understand how you was writing.. I hope you keep up the good work and write more of this story and drop a line when you update at JTB8834@aol.com
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  • From ANON - inunaito on November 26, 2006
    Just read all the chapters that you have written so far & I like where this story line is going. Normally I am a NarutoXHinata pairing type of person, but I do like how you have done it with SakuraXNaruto. I also like how you have any of Naruto's descendents are vessels as well. I like it and please continue writing on this story.
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  • From ANON - who the fuck cares on November 11, 2006
    nice so far, but one thing you should be aware of is that you always refer to naruto's little friends as a septer, that kind of makes the story a little less entertaining, try using other slang terms, there are millions, from stick to wand to cookoo bird, same applies to the female anatomy
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  • From ANON - CuriousMoney on October 26, 2006
    Nice premise. Just you have departed somewhat away from the Naruto storyline. Read your litterary license note so you're forgiven as long as you create a good story. I see lots of potential for multiple lemons. Give me lemon so I can...

    You got your male solo, female solo, and some voyerism. Where is the rest. You promise us a lot and I want to see you deliver. More details on your lemons. Make it vivid. Make it wild. Hurry up and update!
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  • From ANON - Nellysan on October 21, 2006
    Well I hope you know how many errors are in your story.
    1: Her name is SAKURA. Not Sukara. Two the Third Hokage tied when Naruto was close to 12, So another problem there. Not only that but the fact that Sakura is the third best Medic-nin in the world would not make her poor. I dunno. Your story is just so inaccurate with typos that it's hardly enjoyable. It's good storyline except for the issues.
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  • From ANON - preston on October 21, 2006
    pretty good even though you did kill naruto oh and by the way the third hokage is dead we are now up to the fith hokage the third died during oracimarus asult on the leaf villige before saskae ran away, still a good story though and maybe you could go into a little more detail in the lemons
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  • From LauraGordon on October 21, 2006
    When will they mate will naru get preg

    I want them to mate next ch.
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  • From ANON - Yankov (Say it fast five ties) on October 19, 2006
    I like it. You have created the seeds of a great plot with lots of room for erotica. I can't wait to see how Naruto and Sukara get together to make Keiko and what are you going to do with all the built in anger and rage inside that little girl?
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