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Reviews for Need

By : xxsonicxxxboomxx
  • From ANON - Kerushi on August 04, 2006
    Despite taking an internet test that says Gale isn't a Mary Sue you still managed to go almost all out. You can avoid OC bashing by taking out passages that describe her as something like "beautiful with raven coloured hair", and making her strong without any basis. The name "Gale" as well is a glaring fact that she is a Mary Sue. Konoha is set in Japanese culture, so an English name is going to stick out.

    Your writing isn't that bad, but some of the dialougue is out of place. Kakashi's speech about Sasuke liking Gale is pretty bad. And Sasuke is very, very OOC. He would still be crippled by the death of his family, and I doubt he would be this immersed in having a crush on a girl. You may want to develop why and how he started to like Gale, and how exactly she is so important to him.
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  • From ANON - Hah. on August 02, 2006
    Dude, you just said you're writing this fic for your friend, and you don't care what anyone else has to say, and then at the end of your first chapter, you tell readers to review for faster updates. WTF? Why don't you just type it up for your friend and email it? No one likes Mary Sue junk.
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  • From ANON - Chelsey on July 31, 2006
    My Hero! Thanks for the stick-up. I swear even after I finally put up the notice someone still had to say something! Grrr. The first really long complaint about Marysue's just ignore she was just trying to help. And she's a real sweety after I emailed her and said that the story was something I had to finish Marysue or not. And she gave me a good constructive crit plus the good idea to put up a Marysue sign just to stop the negative shit. So it's only Lo you need to yell at. As for my story it's not my best but I do want to finish it for everyone who wants it done, it was my first, but I've learned much since then. If you want to read my later better stuff it's under "RedSliver." He and I teamed up to write together and he's the one who taught me everything I needed to write a better story. It has my penname in the title so you know. I hope you like it. And thanks again.
    BTW- I like your story too! It's really cute.

    -Chelsey- AKA: HisBeautiful
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 31, 2006
    Your character IS a Sue.

    The review option is not there so that you can get blind praise for a bad fanfiction. It's there so that whoever reads your fic can tell you what they honestly think about it. If you're going to delete everything that tries to offer you some sort of constructive criticism, then your fic doesn't belong here. Post it in your LJ where all your little friends can throw blind praise at it.

    Grow up and learn to accept good advice when it's offered to you, even if you don't necessarily like hearing it. Either that, or just put a Mary-Sue warning on your fanfiction.
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  • From ANON - k-chan on July 31, 2006
    You know, you can delete as many nice reviews trying to give you constructive criticism as you want, but that doesn't make you character any less bad. It just makes you incredibly immature.
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  • From ANON - Mustang on July 30, 2006
    Hey so good so far usually im not interested in naruto stories (INUAYSHA!!!) but urs is Cool i wanan see what happends next!
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