Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Avenger's Choice

By : Shakirah

From ANON - Kaguya on May 23, 2006
Hi There... I love your story and plot but... there's something nagging on my mind.... There are several situations in your story that... I'm seriously risking it but.... It looks like you COPIED, and I mean LITERALLY COPIED from other fanfics. For example: in chapter 4, the picnic scene... When I started reading I thought "Hey... It looks like that other fanfic I read.... And in the end they got shirts from Sakura" AND THEY DID IN YOUR FANFIC!!!! And about Sasuke's leaving too. You mentioned it earlier that Naruto could only trail Sasuke because his Kage Bushin woke him up. That's new, I had never read but... The tea!!! It has already been used and particularly I remember the green tea detail because I too love every kind of tea EXCEPT green tea (like Naruto) and Naruto using one of his Kage Bushin to drink the tea and you used that in your fanfic... And there are more of these situations, more in the first chapters than the last ones.
I hope this review does not leave you upset (DUH I'm accusing you of COPING other fanfiction, of course it'll leave you upset!!!) but.... Maybe you were the author of the other fics I'm talking about and you decided to interline these situations? But I've seen your author profile and this is your only fanfic.
Please, tell me if I'm wrong!! I think I'm doing a very serious accusation but it's just weird. And please continue with your fic, don't give up the main plot, it's really interesting.

PS: I left my mail so you can contact me or i'll go to the review site in a few days to see your answer. I'm also on aff but my fics got deleted ;_; I'm on the same name.
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From melliemoore on May 23, 2006
That was....heartbreaking. I've never read a story that touched me that deeply, much less a single chapter...i'm still in a bit of shock. I had to stop reading a few times, and let me tell you, I went through a good amount of kleenex over here. Not only the situation they're in, but the way you've written them, your style of writing, it's just so emotionally strong. You know, once Sasuke said "Dobe-kun" in the latest chapter, "Breaking", I almost stopped reading this story all together. It sounds silly, but at that point, it just became way too depressing. But that bitter-sweet heartwarming part at the end of the chapter was just enough to keep an over-emotional girl like myself in for the long run. I've seen drama, and I've seen angst, but you've gone and taken all of it to the next level with your amazing writing ability.

It's with puffy eyes that I await the next chapter, and cross my fingers and toes for a happy ending.

- Mimi
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From ANON - scerpixy5 on May 23, 2006
WOW!! You have got to be one of the few writers that I have read from that can keep Sasuke and Naruto in character for that long. This fic has me on the end of my seat with all the falshbacks and emotional stress that you have the characters go through. This is also one of the few fics that I read that does not have very many grammatical errors, if any. I really do hope that you update soon. I also love that your chapters are long, that always gets me hooked onto stories.
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From melliemoore on May 20, 2006
Magnificent chapter! Seeing Sasuke's POV was an amazing read, even if it was heartbreaking. I feel horrible for him, he really is in such a depressing situation. I can only hope that he does get the procedure done in the end. Kakashi seems to have faith in him. Speaking of Kakashi, that scene between him and Sasuke in the hospital room was fanfiction at it's best. I went through it twice to soak everything up, and have to say that I laughed out loud at this part:

�Of course not, no one�s getting sucked off in this.� Sasuke ran his hand along the pages, separating them slowly. �Why?�

�Why? I hardly think the sexual preferences of some of the most dangerous shinobi in the world is relevant to village security.�

Pure genius! I really can't wait for the next chapter, it looks like we're already about halfway through the story, huh? It's sad when a good story ends, hopefully this one has a happy ending! If all this angst is leading to Sasuke's death I think i'll go a tiny bit insane, you know? But no matter what happens, this has made for a very entertaining read so far. Here's to an equally amazing 2nd half! ^_^
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From ANON - DevilLived on May 19, 2006
Awesome chapter, loved it.

I really feel for Sasuke, you know? He does have a good reason to not want to take the procedure. But he should still hope and try it out anyways. You never know 'less you try, right?

I liked the scene with Kakashi and Sasuke, it was really well done. This whole chapter was!

GREAT job! Update soon, alright?
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From ANON - Bookworm51485 on May 19, 2006
I love your story so much. I don't know if I said this before, but your story is one of the few that renewed my love for the Naruto fandom. I'd started to lose hope in it for awhile, all the stories were either crappy or forgotten. But now there's your story and I love it. I like your writing style and I have to say I love that you double space it. That seems kind of odd but it makes it a lot easier for me to read. It was interesting getting Sasuke's perspective, I can't wait for Naruto's perspective. And I can't wait til your next update. And I can't wait til Sasuke comes to whatever conclusion Kakashi is trying to lead him to because I want to know what it is too.
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From ANON - Mally on May 19, 2006
NEE! So damn good! I love this fic, and I cannot wait for more. Trust me, I'd give a better review, but I'm late for work as it is.
So, short review: Characters are all wonderful, though I hate Sasuke.(Not like it's any different from reading the manga/watching the anime, I hate him anyways. ^^) Naruto is so sweet, and deserves huge ammounts of Raman and loving for going through such angst. ^^ But it's all kept fairly IC, which I like. Your descriptions are wonderful, and I even like the time switches. It helps explain things. ^^ Keep up the kick ass work, you rock all over...And I love your fic!
~Mally~
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From ANON - staplersbreak on May 18, 2006
Gorgeous. Loved it. Great writing. Please continue.
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From ANON - fiberchick7 on May 17, 2006
I really like this, it's lovely. And I hate to do it, but I always turn into a grammar teacher when I review. It's just that I hate to see a good story interrupted by little mistakes. I'll just mention a couple easy-to-fix-if-you-feel-like-it ones, which are easy to find. In Ch. 3, you use "incarnation" when I think you mean "incarceration" and "rouge" for "rogue". The rest only I -the grammar chick - would probably notice.

Other than that, I think you write well. I especially like the way you switch between past and present. And all the little things you keep putting in that get explained later on shows me you're really thinking ahead as you write and I love that. A well-thought out plot. But I feel like this will be a tearjerker. I've got the sinking feeling that no matter what, Sasuke will die because the entire story seems to me like a memory, or a eulogy. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's a lovely story regardless.

Sasuke and Naruto's relationship is particularly nice. It's perfect the way it hovers between sweet lightness with a touch of humor and downright poignant.

Don't make me choose because you'd win every time - I love that.
and
You want to do something that will make us sticky? - I like that too, made me giggle.

Good job!
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From ANON - fujinakaheero on May 17, 2006
Oh I like the story so far. It's pretty good.
I hope you'll continue this story. Keep up the good work.
until next time!
ja ne!
Fujinakaheero
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From ANON - hypnotic on May 17, 2006
wow...that was wonderful! everything... the flashbacks... the neji thing....just wonderful. No flippin' lie. I loved how sasuke was just seconds away from beating everybody's ass! Kiba...Neji...it was mind blowing... the passion in the bedroom...mouth watering...update ok. like soon...maybe today...you know...like in the hour...heh just joking. though you gotta keeping going on this story.

...just...wow!

~Ja!
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From ANON - Dana on May 16, 2006
great chapter, again...
i love how were finding out a little more about there past as the story progresses....
can't wait to find out what happens next...
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From ANON - DevilLived on May 16, 2006
AWESOME chapter, very very well written, great job!

I liked the idea with the note from Neji, it kept me guessing what's inside it till the end! Liked how it turned out too, it wasn't really what we all were expecting.

Sasuke's such a bastard, someone should *knock* some sense into him (wink, wink).

Update soon, alright?
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From ANON - Sora on May 16, 2006
Basically....I FRIGEN LOVED LOVED LOVED!!! Chapter 3...I mean, omFg!! hahah omg
hahah so giggly and happy! >< Im glad it wasn't all angsty! Im just getting more anxious tho...
I really want this story to have a good(meaning happy...no dieing)ending...
hmm...well, if it is going to have one of those^^ endings, would you mind emailing me to let me know
before I read the last chapter, or whichever chapter will tell me that It will, cuz I cant handle sad endings
sometimes and I dont want to go all emo on my friends and such hehe >
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From ANON - MeLaiya on May 15, 2006
OMG, this is incredible. Please you have got to update and I mean a.s.a.p.
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