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Reviews for Self-Reliance

By : theninjakitty
  • From ANON - Sara Marjan on January 21, 2017

    I think you're amazing. Your writing is humour filled& oddly enticing. Other than the constant 'Kyoobi-boy' reference which I found mildly irritating after over a billion repetions...don't get me wrong .. ihad so much fun reading your writing that I questioned my own dreamto ever do so you even bought a few tears. If you've ever written further on the story please do make some more of humourless-life sparkly by mailing it to saramarjan786@gmail.com. Khurda-fis!


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  • From ANON - kate on February 20, 2016
    I know this story is probably long dead but I just want to say how much I've enjoyed it! Really I've been re-reading it for years now and every time it makes me laugh, cry and cheer. I saw your rant on the last chapter and I hope dearly you continued with your writing, your writing style is fabulous. Even if its not this fic; writing is an art and its completely understandable to lose your muse. Especially with rude people harassing you. I just hope those obnoxious trolls didn't leave you with a bad taste for writing, I think you have a talent for it. Annnnnd i'm sorry for the weird, pushy advice from a complete stranger #^_^# anyway love the fic!
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  • From ANON - yuck on October 18, 2015
    Easily one of the most overrated NaruSasu fics in fandom history. Nothing happens in the story, unless you count giving each other manis/pedis. The chapters creak past at a snail's pace, the characters are ridiculously OOC, and the entire premise is mind-bogglingly dumb. Sasuke's solution to having his life threatened by Itachi? Why, to become a teen mom, of course! I mean, who wouldn't want to incapacitate himself with pregnancy while a deadly killer is out for his blood and everyone else who shares his blood? Kind of defeats the purpose of having kids if Itachi skewers them like he did the rest of the clan. I know the author isn't reading this, but I still need to say this: this fic is awful.
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  • From ANON - Linsei on January 19, 2015
    Ah I remember reading this years ago and had to come back. Love your story. Thank you for writing as much as you did, and I hope life is treating you well!
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  • From itnama on November 04, 2014
    Ah, I am in love! Couldn't take my eyes off the screen until I had more. Every chapter made me fall more and more in love with the characters and plot. Possessive horny Kyuubi has my support all the way, try waddling away this time bitch! (Though I sympathise somewhat for Sasuke with three chibi Narutos using his insides as tackle practive :) ) Can't wait to be blown by the next chappie (or I okay with giving that treat to Sasuke *wink wink*) meanwhile, off to re-read until its ingrained in my brain!
    PS: Kakashi= friendly pervert....pure Genius
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  • From ANON - Silent Dreams on March 18, 2014
    I got to about chapter 4 before looking to see if this is even complete... considering when it was last updated I have a feeling it will never be :/ I really enjoyed what I had read but being stuck forever at a cliff hanger... not the most enjoyable idea for myself. I will definitely bookmark it in the off chance that it does get updated. The plot of the story is amazing, it is well written, and just over all enjoyable, I really wish it was finished though. Best of luck to you in the future.
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  • From ANON - Alchemist511 on June 27, 2013
    Always loved your writing, and glad that I finally found somewhere that at least one story was still posted. You were one of the authors who first got me into reading mpreg. Would love to see it finished, but no pressure. I was wondering if there was any way I could get copies of a couple of your other stories, specifically the Stork stories set in the Kenshin verse, since your ffnet and lj pages have been purged. If this is possible, please email me. Thank you!
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  • From MadaMag on February 12, 2012
    Hi, great story.
    With all the talk, it isn't known that Naruto is Minato and Kushina son? It maybe wouldn't help him with the council (that is a thing that is a pure fanon, btw, look how they chose Tsunade (elders) or while she was in coma.) BTW. the only recognition he need is form junins, canon-vise.
    Anyway, wouldn't Tsunade better prepare for the event? I mean, there has to be something that could put pressure on the unwilling council members. Also, a fact that Gaara become a Kage could be an argument.

    Oh, the actual reason for this review: think, how many years is it, since in the Uchiha compound someone lived. Not to mention all the battles Konoha went through. Do you really think, that that place, if even exit, would be in a condition to live in? Not to mention, the compound is the farthest one from the centrum and Tower (canon), very inconvenient.
    Maybe the one story house Minato and Kushina lived would be better (and not so common used;)). I can imagine Jiraiya was using it as his Konoha residence, or a genin team would care of it as a D-rank in reverence to the Fourth...
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  • From Rndmblkguy on April 06, 2010
    I have a history with this story, actually. I wont bother you with it though. All I will say is: This is wonderful. Keep on updating whenever you can. I honestly enjoy reading this, it's my own little escape from life.
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  • From ANON - Anon on February 26, 2010
    Chapter 16: Huh? Is this a nightmare? ____ Oh. Still, stress relief or not, that’s really disturbing. ____ XD The note is funny. XD ____ Uh yeeaahh, I’d sleep in the living room tonight if I were you, Naruto. ^^;; ____ Knowing Naruto, he’s probably going to make an attempt anyway.

    “Then-slightly rounded belly?” Sounded really round then! ____ Haha, I knew he’d make an attempt! XD ____ Makes sense that the aim would be a lot better. ____ Well, that’s half of it done. (Hopefully.) Now Sasuke has to do the other half…. Well, then again, his part is deciding how much Naruto needs to work for the apology to be accepted. So, no, Naruto’s still gonna be busy. ^^ Heh—I love it when Sasuke just points and says, “Out.” XD ____ Cool line: “His father had bruised his soul, his brother had broken it …” ____ “Sit. We’re going to talk. Civilly. Without any doujutsu, chakra, or pointy objects. Got it?” In WHAT universe! XDDD ____ “Especially people who that decision will affect.” I’m not sure, but I think that sentence needs to be revised a little. Sounds a little awkward to me. ____ I like the description of Sasuke at night. That’ll be inspiration for supernatural fics there. =) ____ “I can waive my masculinity enough to admit defeat.” Cool way of putting it. =D

    Is it real danger, or silly danger? ____ Huh? What’s that last part?

    Lol, “that only gave the babies somewhere to aim.” XD ____ I’m all for the sleeping nude idea! ____ Was Naruto up all night fighting something? Or was that an imposter in Sasuke’s bed? ____ It’s been a while since I’ve heard about the kitten. =) ____ “The yogurt’s mine.” LOL, I can just hear his flat drawl of that line! XD ____ Hmm … so it was him…. Or IS it?? ____ First mention of Kimimaro. Is Orochimaru or Kabuto around? ____ “Justsu-sex.” Good term. I’m surprised I haven’t heard it before. =D ____ Yeah, it’s Naruto alright. I’m still wondering what that deal from the night before was.

    I wonder if he’s ever hit Iruka with a pebble as the man opened the window to yell at him. >3 ____ XDDD ____ I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of Iruka asleep or half-asleep. I’m getting a cute mental image of him. =) ____ XD The first lines they exchange are really funny. X3 ____ Indeed, Naruto had to take care of some errands. First on the list: bug the shit out of Iruka. XD ____ Lol, that woke him up. XD ____ I thought Naruto was going to start telling Sasuke about this kind of stuff. Sasuke’s gonne be pissed when he finds out. ____ I wonder how long these assassination attempts will last. Months? Or years? ____ Naruto may have a point about the elders, but I hope he doesn’t get carried away. ____ Interesting take on the Fourth Hokage. ____ I love Kakashi’s way of putting things so bluntly and honestly. ____ “Concentration jutsu,” yeah right. (*snort*) ____ Eh, no, lose the tie. ____ “Past conversations with Sasuke had gone in the same way as beating his head against a wall for a long time---it didn’t really get him anywhere, nor did it accomplish anything, but after a while the pain made him think he must be doing something.” ROFLMFAO like there’s no tomorrow!!! XDDDDD ♥♥♥ ____ Lol, “the loudmouthed idiot and the closemouthed genius.” XDD ____ “Kakashi believed he had a real talent for utterly horrifying people …” I keep wondering where people get that idea from…. No, seriously. I don’t understand it. Surely reading Icha Icha Paradise and executing 1,000 Years of Pain weren’t the only things. Honestly, I don’t know where people got the idea that Kakashi does stuff to freak people out. Or whatever it is.

    Nice opening line for this scene. I’m guessing Naruto’s not having success with the tie. ____ I’m sure Naruto would wear formal robes if he thought they looked cool. ____ Heh—“You’ll need my help.” ^^ ____ Is Sasuke worried about the time when Itachi snuck in to say hello? ____ I like the paragraph going into Sasuke’s word usage when he referred to Itachi. ____ That usage of the Sharingan I think is more suited for Byakugan usage. I’m not sure the Sharingan can see through things quite like that. ____ I like the going-through-the-track-record part. =) ____ I like how Sasuke’s getting more tense as this goes on. ____ “Kyuubi says he wants to have a go at Itachi … and I really hope he realizes that that would be my body he’s using, and---ugh---goddammit, Kyuubi; I don’t need to see that…” “Not going to ask.” XDD I WANNA KNOW WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT! XDD ____ This is pretty funny, this conversation that we’re hearing one-sided. XD ____ Move back to the old Uchiha estate? Sounds cool to me, but Sasuke’s not going to get creeped out by the memories, is he?

    Heh—I was expecting a girl to have called him. ^^; ____ Oh God, WHO LET JIRAIYA IN? He’s annoying Sasuke-kun! (Jeez, listen to me, I’ve become one of them!) ____ Lol at the track record bit. XD ____ “Shit, did you just bite me?” XD That was unexpected! I didn’t think he’d actually do it!

    Yay, another omake! ____ (*whistles appreciatively*) Ya look hot, Naruto! ♥_♥

    Just read the rant at the end and checked your LJ. I’m sorry the fic won’t ever be updated, but at least I know there’s some closure to it. :')
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  • From ANON - Anon on February 25, 2010
    WARNING: Long review is loooong. But that tends to happen while I’m reading a long chapter. ^^;;;

    Er, well, the character death is news to me.

    Chapter 15: Well, something’s gotta give eventually. ____ Sounds like Hanabi’s really good at hiding. And since she’s got the Byakugan, that makes sense. Though I think it would be a strain if she kept it on all the time (I wonder how Itachi does it with the Sharingan). ____ It’s no surprising if ninjas started to smell while on missions like these. ____ Heh—while Neji does have the white eyes, I wonder how good he is at acting blind. And a begger as well. ____ I’m guessing that since this is the last day of their mission-time, something or someone is going to turn up. ____ “Naruto seemed to be the only one with balls enough to growl at Sasuke when he was being dumb …” Oh, I dunno, Tsunade or Sakura might have ‘em too, lol. ^^ ____ I knew something would happen on the last day. ____ Lol: “So Neji did have a soft spot for animals, then.” Cute, giving her scraps. ♥ ____ Let’s see, “no-fur part of town” … I’m guessing that means “clothes-off” which means “red light district”. ____ Interesting, Hanabi being sick (if it’s her); that’d really suck if the vixen tagged the wrong girl. ____ (*snicker*) I love the way he woke up Neji and Konohamaru. XD

    Huh. Weird. I thought Naruto & co. were going to go after Hanabi, not return right home. ____ Oh. They did follow her. Assassination scenes can be pretty cool. I’m curious as to how this one happened. ____ Jeez, he still calls his wife “Hinata-sama.” I wonder how she feels about that. ____ Huh. So Hanabi was pregnant. Or she had already given birth. It’d be crazy timing if Naruto’s team arrived right as she was in labor. But still, it’s weird how they run into a girl who’s going through / has gone through pregnancy. Almost like some weird omen. ____ Listening to Sasuke’s worries about Naruto … did Sakura come and get him as soon as she heard, or had she actually seen Naruto? Because if she saw him and he was hurt, I think she would’ve gotten Sasuke up in a different manner. Or not at all because he’d freak. ____ Didn’t think so, though. Just going over possibilities. ____ Naruto must still have some bad stuff on his mind if he can’t smile at Sasuke after wanting to see him so much. I get the feeling that they both need to be held tonight. ____ If Hanabi was sick … did the fox interpret it that way because she wasn’t familiar with human pregnancy, or was Hanabi really sick? Cuz if she was, the bloodstains might not be from assassinating her. She could’ve had a bad labor or something. ____ So why the hell doesn’t Sasuke take a fistful of Naruto’s hair and kiss him forcefully until that gods-be-damned expression faded from his face? ____ “… ‘cause you know there’s shit out there that could---could hurt you…” Yeah, he definitely encountered something really bad on the assassination…. I wonder if this would be a bad time to tell him about Itachi. ____ He’s really shaken. They both need to go home and hold each other. ____ Awww. ♥ Forget going home, they can just hold each other right here. ♥ (Oh, by the way, I hope Konohamaru is seeing this…. Well, that’s okay; it’d be cool either way. He’ll come around eventually.) ____ Nice description of how Konohamaru is reacting to the mission. I liked the bit about Kabuto’s cards. =) I wonder if he’s thinking of the irony of Naruto choosing him for this mission. Quite an “honor” or “privilege” indeed, right? ____ Awesome description of how the fox first appeared. ____ Whoa, hang on there—“the night that he’d left his village and came back a baby with a curse …” That’s cool. It sounds like instead of Naruto being Minato’s son, he literally was Minato. ____ “… he needed something stiff and whatever comfort Sasuke knew how to offer.” Call me tactless, but while I’m sure that you meant a stiff drink, I was, like, totally thinking of something else. And can you blame me? Sasuke’s in the same sentence, just a couple words away. ____ I wonder if Naruto has gone on missions like these before. And if he’s reacted to them like this, or if this is kind of new due to his sudden pregnant-mate situation at home. ____ I like the way Tsunade told him to hand in a report. It wasn’t just the usual “What’s the report?” line—it was unique. “You asked for three weeks. And I gave them to you. I need an answer for the elders, Naruto.” Cool line. ____ Oh wait, now I remember: it’s his answer to whether or not he accepts the Hokage’s position. Lol, he must’ve handed in the report just before Sasuke came in. I is dum. ^^;;;

    Ahh, flashback scene! =D Yay, we get to see what happened! =DD ____ Now that is cool, seeing the fox bow. If Neji had any doubts before this (and I know he did), he must now question them. ____ Naruto: “Hey, look! I fixed the door.” (Konohamaru & Neji: *groan*) ____ Lol, “fan out and look for shit.” XD ____ Oh jeez, suicide. That’s spooky. I hadn’t considered that. And you wrote the scene really well. I like how disturbing the image is and how it’s affecting Neji. ____ Neji’s in shock, isn’t he? I’ll betcha that when he touches her face, his fingers are already cold. And I love Konohamaru’s line when he comes in: “Guys, I didn’t find---oh God.” I mean, the scene is so … I dunno how to say it. Grim. Sad. Dramatic and undramatic. Simple. Done before they got there. ____ “What a waste---a waste of time, a waste of energy, a waste of life.” Yeah…. What I also like about this scene is … well, I didn’t expect Naruto & co. to feel satisfied after killing Hanabi; naturally they’d feel kind of grim and probably trying to repress certain emotions. But this … this was SO unexpected … and so nothing that they could’ve prevented. And … I’m not sure how to say it, but if one could say that they’d get a feeling that could be satisfaction in assassinating her—not for specific causes like stopping her from doing whatever or something—but just the feeling of getting the grim job done and out of the way (cold as that sounds) so they could try to move on … finding her like this takes that feeling completely. Nothing was finished. Just stopped. They built up their nerve so much for doing this … and it never happens. (I don’t want this to sound like I’m accusing Hanabi of anything, because I’m not.) So they have to deal with finding the scene, and then, maybe, thinking about what they were preparing themselves to do if it wasn’t the case … and of course the big question of why…. And I just looked at the scene where Tsunade first said that Hanabi had gone rogue. And she said that they weren’t sure why Hanabi had done it; they assumed it was something bad, though. But this brings out the possibility that she might’ve been in a bad situation and saw no other choice. The wrong choice, I’m sure, but if she was still 13 or 14…. I wonder if that other nin was the father…. Okay, enough of that. Back to the scene. ____ “It was easier when death was faceless.” Cool line. ____ (*snort*) Konohamaru’s got a point…. AND I WENT OFF ON THAT HUGE LECTURE!! XDDDD (*HEADDESK*HEADDESK*HEADDESK*) ____ “… and I’d almost think cyanide, but it’s not that red, and I know for a fact that I have the genetic marker that makes me able to smell it, but there’s no bitter almond scent …” I don’t get it. Genetic marker? Cyanide? Not that red? Almond? I’m very confuuuuuused. Still, this is really cool, seeing detective Konohamaru. =D He can be totally awesome. ____ “… and a buttload of brownie points.” (*chokes*) Th-th-that’s hilarious, but it sounds kinda wrong. X'D ____ So now Neji’s noticing missing details. I wonder if Konohamaru hadn’t done the something’s-wrong-with-this-picture thing, how long would it have taken Neji to pick up on something. He’s sharp, but he also seemed to be in shock. It could’ve taken him a little while.

    Ohoho, chopping up the scene, are we? >:D ____ I think in homes like these, the toilet is in a completely separate room than the bathtub. The bathtub is in the bathroom, while the toilet is in a “water closet”. I think. ____ “This was not how Sasuke had imagined their two-week separation ending.” Me neither. ____ “The forest folk,” lol. ^^ ____ “and… we… we found her, but…” ‘The girl turned on him with a snarl, holding a shaking kunai in both hands.” You might want to put a break in between those paragraphs because we’re going into a past scene. Or if you don’t want them to be completely separate scenes, you could add the word “had” in a few places. Like, “The girl had turned on him with a snarl, holding a shaking kunai in both hands. She had fully realized that she was no match for two other jounin …” Like that. ____ Like a mother animal. Very protective of her child. ____ I love seeing her angry like this. ____ “What they do to us.” Is she or the father a jinchuuriki then? I’m not getting what her situation is. ____ I like the bit when Naruto wonders if the kid is Neji’s.

    Love the cold way she speaks to Konohamaru. ____ If Naruto can smell that her chakra’s a mess, I wonder what they’d look like to Neji with the Byakugan. And I’m sure Hanabi is way more than aware of it, since her clan studies the system. ____ Disgraced her family in what way? Ditching Konoha? Having the kid? Having a kid with a man they’d disapprove of? ____ Jeez. Just being captured by Orochimaru was a nightmare. He and Kabuto are so creepy … (*shudder*) Total sociopaths. ____ Okay, I think I see where this is going. I’m guessing Orochimaru raped her. And if not him, then Kabuto or one of the lab rats. No wonder Hanabi’s a mess. ____ Kabuto then. Actually, that makes more sense to me. And it seems even scarier to me. Kabuto’s one of my favorite characters, but he’s also one that scares me the most. ____ I’m surprised Hanabi is “outing” the other missing-nin. Wouldn’t that get them in trouble? ____ Okay, after hearing that Uo killed the hunter nin, I’m thinking who cares if she’s outted. ____ Good line about Fate cheating. ____ Jeez, Neji! ____ I can’t believe he’s got no sympathy or empathy. That’s really messed up. That attitude is a major reason some people cause so much trouble. I mean, he sounds like Kabuto sometimes does about things. And it’s very inconsistent to his reaction to seeing the dead body earlier. I also would’ve thought he’d have a little more sympathy, being shunted to the side of the clan. ____ Well, Naruto’s going to make Hokage in a short time, so couldn’t he fix things? Probably not. He could give Hanabi benefits that otherwise could’ve been denied to her, but he can’t make the Hyuuga change their minds personally. Even if he made them keep her in the family, they wouldn’t change their views personally, and it would still come out. She’d still be an outcast. ____ Boy, it’s a good thing Sasuke’s not around to hear what Naruto’s saying about his clan; that could cause a big wound. ____ I like Naruto’s line about the Akimichis being the only clan who gets it right. ____ Careful, Naruto. Use influence carefully. If you force something too big, it could cause a civil war. The Hyuuga clan is big enough and strong enough to cause some damage. ____ I really don’t like that woman. ____ This is ghastly. Just when things were about to work out…. I heard a line somewhere that “betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.” And Fate tricked them. Betrayed them. ____ I wonder if Anko knew or if it’s part of a grudge against Orochimaru.

    That business about the Uchiha clan smothering emotions … I think that’s something Sasuke’s never been able to do well. He’s always projecting some kind of emotion. And if not, it’s because he’s exhausted himself emotionally. But it always comes back. Actually, it seemed to be hanging around Orochimaru and pursuing Itachi that made him try for holding them back. ____ That’s a cool exchange: “I’m not doing it for the reasons… the reasons I should be doing it for.” “What’s your reason, then?” “Guilt.” That certainly puts a damper on things. ____ They’re both emotional messes. And neither got the break from the angst they needed.

    Things have never been easy between Naruto and Sasuke, though. Why should the fights stop after a love confession? ____ Lol: “How cleanly does ‘I’ve been a stupidly possessive idiot and I really want this to work between us ………’ translate into flower-speak?” ^^ ____ I thought roses were more temperamental, and touching them caused them to wilt where they’ve been touched. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. And they’ve got thorns. ____ Interesting, the situation between Shikamaru and Temari. ____ Shikamaru’s another one who I can’t picture as having a relationship with a man. _____ Yeeeaaaah, brain’s beginning to crack a little. >.>; ____ “She’d probably chase him with the mop again.” Cute. ^^

    Another omake. Cool. ____ Oh, so it was a walrus! I was wondering about what critter it was. =) ____ (*choke*) Oh man, I wasn’t expecting that. ^^;; ____ I gotta say, Itachi looks better in drag in my mind than in any picture I’ve seen on the internet. ____ “Nurse, keep the proud papa-to-be occupied, will you?” Uh-oh. XD ____ This is so cracked up! XDD ____ Oh thank god it was a dream. XDD ____ “Hell, that took the entire dessert bar…” I should say so!! XDDDD ____ GREAT ENDING! XDDDDDDD That was one of the best omakes I’ve read! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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  • From ANON - Anon on February 25, 2010
    SnarkyAsHell!Itachi does sound kinda fun. I’m curious. =)

    Chapter 14: Pretty Sasuke. (I think that’s Sasuke.) ____ Yeah, this is Itachi looking at Sasuke. Nice opening description, by the way. And I like how Itachi’s mysterious. We’re not sure what his intent is. ____ It’s pretty cool, seeing Itachi a little puzzled. He may be a genius, but there are still things out there that he’s not totally sure about. =) ____ “A gut swollen by another man’s seed?” Again, maybe I’m perverted, but that sounds kinda hot. When I don’t take into account what it really means and looks like, that is. ____ Cool. I’m guessing he just came to look out of curiosity. I doubt he has anything malicious in mind.

    I think smelling chakra would be more of Kiba’s thing. Or Kakashi’s. ____ I wonder if Itachi’s going to come back. And if he does, will Sasuke be waiting for him. ____ Sounds like Itachi left a door open. ____ “Orochimaru? No, he would’ve attempted to molest me, and I may not be the lightest sleeper anymore, but that tongue is enough to wake anyone.” XDD ____ Oh. He’s still there. I thought he left. ____ (*choke*) “I was hoping for some coffee.” XDDD Now that I wasn’t expecting. The guy’s a freeloader! XDD ____ I’m surprised Sasuke said anything back. Anything aside from “What are you doing here?” ____ I gotta say, I like the snarky!Itachi more than the typical aloof!Itachi I see in fanfiction. And I’m still surprised that Sasuke’s not keeping his distance from Itachi. I mean, if Itachi wanted to kill him or his kids, he could’ve done it already, but still—I doubt Sasuke forgot why he had a vendetta against him in the first place. ____ This scene between them doesn’t make much sense to me, but it’s still interesting. ____ “You think me cruel.” “No, I think you’re fucking psychotic.” Well-said. And then when he says, “Leave,” I have this funny mental image of Itachi going, “Make me.” ^^;;; ____ Useful? Hmm? ____ I wonder if Itachi’s going to blackmail Sasuke into handing Naruto over to the Akatsuki, with the triplets’ lives held hostage. ____ Sasuke should’ve had stronger jounin guarding him—not because he or his kids are a threat, but because a threat might come for him. Still, even if they did that, I doubt it would make much difference when it’s Itachi we’re dealing with. ____ Yaaay, Chouji! Cool entrance, man! =D ____ Lol, “Definitely an Akimichi.” ____ “I challenge you on Sasuke-san’s behalf …” That’d be funny if Itachi just said, “Challenge denied,” for the sheer hell of it, cuz he doesn’t seem to think the Akimichi clan is worth his time. ____ “Gone without pomp or poof or glitz.” Normally he disappears in a bunch of black birds, but if I were to stick with your description … I’ve got this mental image of him fading like a ghost while walking. Spooky. ____ “Those four up on the roof right now are useless.” “And probably dead.” Imagine if Itachi snuck in here and went through this whole scene while leaving the jounin alive; it’d be really kickass if they were all like, “What, something happened? I didn’t hear a thing!” ____ “Sasuke was slowly realizing that Naruto had every single nin in the village under his thumb …” XD Good line. ____ “(and to say an Uchiha was looking pale was like saying a ghost was looking under the weather)” I dunno, I think it’d be weirder if someone thought Orochimaru looked pale. –er. ____ I like Sasuke’s reaction to Sakura’s suggestion of giving him something to help. ____ I like this argument. ____ Neji the wife-whipped genius. I like it! XD ____ “Like Naruto, Chouji was a stamina fighter …” It’s RPG talk again. =) ____ “They showed it to me during battle, and anything’s fair game for Sharingan.” Nice. I like hearing that line again. ____ “Just so you know, if you repeat what I’ve just said to anyone, I will hunt you down and kill you, Akimichi Chouji.” XD Yeah, he’s Itachi’s brother, all right.

    Back to the mission… ____ Lol, YIP! XD ____ That name, Konkon … does it have something to do with foxes? Cuz I’ve heard it somewhere else. ____ Oh come on, Konohamaru, you gotta admit: talking to animals is cool! =D ____ I love the way Naruto translates certain concepts. “She ran away from her own territory, and we’re afraid that she’s going to cause trouble if she’s allowed to roam.” That is so cool. ____ (*snort*) An animal hitting on him. It’s into beastiality. Because as foxlike as Naruto may seem at the moment, he’s still obviously human. XDD ____ And why doesn’t Kyuubi ever use the word “vixen”? That’d be cool if he called her that. ____ “Naruto didn’t think his body had that much blood in it …” He’d be surprised. Well, no he wouldn’t—he’d be dead. ____ That’d be funny if the vixen was just saying that to Naruto just as a joke. ____ Oh boy, that lick must be very weird for Neji and Konohamaru to see. XD ____ “You take animal magnetism way, way, waaaaaaaaay too far, dude.” Lol. ^^ ____ “Sakura, or Hinata, or even that fox …” One would almost think he’s homophobic. How would he know what went on between Naruto and the fox? ____ Niiiiice…. I loved the way Naruto communicated his disappointment in Konohamaru. ____ THAT SCENE WAS TOTALLY KICK-ASS AWESOME! =DDD

    ShikaChoIno? Oh jeez, this better not break my brain. ____ Whoa, Shikamaru’s a schoolteacher? AWESOME! =D ____ And that last sentence makes me want to chuckle evilly. Shikamaru’s brain is going to explode somewhere along those 9 months. ^^;
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  • From ANON - Anon on February 10, 2010
    Lol. “*sigh* What did her in this time?” XD

    Chapter 13: Lol—Shikamaru would shake his head hopelessly at Sasuke. ____ Either this is another dream, or this is slightly out-of-place in the timeline of the story. Or we cut to after Naruto came back from the mission, but why do that when the mission has so many interesting possibilities? ____ Doesn’t sound like a dream…. ____ Ehm, you repeated the “I’m tired, Sasuke” lines. ____ Oh, so it is a dream. Certainly had me fooled. ____ Heh—that last part of the dream was weird. ____ It’s probably his brother making a total mess of things. ____ Or not. ____ (*snicker*) They’re still fighting over Sasuke, even though neither of them are chasing him. ____ Heh—yeah, wake up, girls. ____ I love the way Sasuke wakes them up to the reality of him still being a guy and not a total girl. ____ “A gut full of fox-seed …” That actually sounds kinda hot.

    “He didn’t like admitting defeat---something about the proud fox within him expressly forbade it …” Okay, that’s a little annoying. He doesn’t need the fox to make him not want to give up. I think that could just be him, with/without the fox. ____ Aww geez, Naruto, where’d you get that song? That’s … creepy. ____ Heheheh, oh yeah, they’re in the brothel. ____ Why doesn’t Kyuubi just break down the alcohol in his system like he did before? He’s probably trying to not encourage Konohamaru. ____ “You certain it’s this one?” This one what? And boy, that chick is aggressive. ____ I like it how Konohamaru was all “WTH?” at Naruto’s “drunken” willingness and how Neji knows he’s up to something. ____ Ah, so that’s what he meant. ____ I thought Neji thought Naruto was a flawless actor. And this gal says he’s horrible? What’s that about? ____ Oh wait … never mind, I’m lost again. “She’s the one” what? ____ Sasuke’s going to hear about this somehow, isn’t he? ____ This scene is AWESOME! =D ____ (*shiver*) Scary…. ____ Ahh, it’s Kyuubi. That. Is. Scary. ____ “… and I’d rather not have this drug out any further than it must.” Actually it should be “dragged”. ____ Jeez, she’s tough. Two fingers and she’s still not talking. o_o; ____ (*snicker*) The girls braided Neji’s hair. XD ____ What other locals?

    Okay, those rules have to be made up. ____ I would’ve thought that pink would be more forbidden than purple. ____ Heh—I love the way Sasuke’s bitching at her and she just grumbles back to him. XD ____ “Look, maybe shopping wasn’t a very good idea.” Gee, you think?
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  • From ANON - Anon on February 05, 2010
    Chapter 12: “His friend’s first … eight or so … tries at attaining a female form had ended up in nothing short of retinal agony.” Yeah, I’m sure. I’m trying not to imagine it. ____ “Teaching wasn’t Naruto’s forte …” Actually, I think he does a pretty good job at it. ____ Well, then again, if this is from Sasuke’s POV, he would think that. He’s got his pride. ____ “This feels weird.” Lol. ^^ ____ I thought Sasuke was supposed to stay in full female form for the rest of his pregnancy, so it wouldn’t be so hard on his hips. ____ “Cosmetic jutsu.” Nicely put. ____ “I am a genius, dobe, but the jutsu took me two years to develop and six months to master.” Develop, huh? Don’t you mean “refine”? ____ Lol at the two years part. ^^ ____ “You’re a bloodline genius, and, um, I’m a fatass.” Errr, Chouji doesn’t like that pointed out to him. I’m not sure that him saying it would be any exception. ____ XDDD I like the mention of Orochimaru. ____ (*snicker*) “And though it’d double my chances of bearing children with Sharingan, I didn’t want to sleep with my homicidal older brother.” Meaning he actually considered it for even part of a second. XDDD Plus, that’d kind of be pretty close incest, and thus, not a good idea for genetics. ^^; ____ “You… actually thought about sleeping with all of them? Kakashi-sensei? And Itachi?” “Yes.” As surprising and a little uncharacteristic as it is on the Itachi part, it’s still hilarious. And it also makes me wonder how far he thought that through. Like, how would he convince Itachi to knock him up. And keep himself and his kids safe. I mean, the threat of Itachi is pretty damn hard to ignore. And Sasuke should be a pro at factoring Itachi into every situation. ____ Lol, good job on Round Two, Sasuke. ^^ ____ Love Konohamaru’s take on the whole situation. ____ “If he hadn’t known better, Konohamaru would have thought he saw Sasuke smirk.” Aha! So he did look at Sasuke! >D ____ I get the feeling Konohamaru’s a little jealous. I’m just wondering if it occurred to him that Naruto might try to hang around Sasuke a little more often while Sasuke’s pregnant. ____ I like it when Sasuke tells Naruto to be smart when it comes to battles on the mission. ____ “Maybe I should’ve requested Lee instead, huh? His greenness might counteract my orangeness.” Lol. ____ “Just … don’t do anything stupider than usual.” Lol again. ^^ ____ Awwww. ♥

    Aww fuck, please tell me this is just a bad dream Sasuke’s having. ____ “… and the hand not mangledbySamehadefanned over his curved abdomen.” Needs spaces between the words there. ____ Yeah, definitely a nightmare. ____ Gotta say, though, wouldn’t Sasuke have woken up by now if it were a nightmare? ____ Yup, nightmare. ____ “Dad’s fine, kits.” Which “dad” is he talking about? I thought he was “mom”. Unless he’s saying “Naruto’s fine, he’s not dead.” ____ “You’ll be able to sympathize soon enough if any of you get our bloodline.” I’ll bet. Those eyes capture things so vividly, never mind the horrifying powers locked within. ____ It’s kinda sad how in this world, ninjas can’t write to each other without the letters being accompanied by suspicion of sabotage or forgery or whatever. ____ “Sharingan was not just about eyes. Sharingan was a technique for the whole body, a gift through the blood at birth.” Very awesome phrasing. And I like how the paragraph ends as well: “It came with the blood---this inability to forget, and, in the case of the Uchiha clan, this inability to forgive as well.” Awesome. ♥ ____ Sharingan’s definitely a dubious gift. It’s part curse. ____ “Itachi wouldn’t be able to take out four jounin without making enough noise to tip me off.” Well, he might, but Sasuke’s trying to stay calm, so he’s telling himself otherwise. ____ (*snicker*) That line could fit almost anybody Sasuke was thinking of, as well as Kakashi. ^^ (!) Uh-oh, what if it’s someone he was thinking about in disguise? ____ I’m surprised that Sasuke still calls Iruka “sensei”. ____ Heh—I like the details about how both Sasuke and Kakashi got on each other’s nerves. ____ It’s rare to see Kakashi lose it like this, and I would say it’s OOC, but you led up to it pretty well, so it’s kind of moving. ____ “Nin Scout Cookies,” lol. ____ “Don’t need to know about the state of your personal pounding.” Yeah, me neither. (*green*) ____ (*snicker*) Comparing Naruto to Iruka makes me wonder if Naruto’s going to be like him when he’s got kids to look after. ____ “Sasuke had walls, Kakashi had masks. It was anyone’s guess as to which one was a stronger defense.” Cool. ____ “Can Kakashi even help me with these kind of problems---look at him, not ever worried about having children because the person he loves most is a man …” Umm … I think Sasuke’s forgetting something. ____ “First the White Fange, and then the Copy Ninja---they need no follow-up act …” Another interesting one. ____ “Now get to sleep before I sic Iruka and his eternal mothering on you.” (*snicker*)

    Yeah, Konohamaru’s jealous. ____ If Naruto’s the team leader and is setting his troubles aside, he should tell Konohamaru to do the same to what’s bothering him. Then again, it’s kind of a waste to do that when Konohamaru doesn’t want to make smalltalk. ____ Hanabi would probably recognize them. ____ Still, even if Naruto doesn’t have an affair, I wonder how Sasuke would take it if he heard that Naruto went into a brothel to flirt for information.

    Oh, what’s this? An omake? ____ Ah, thanks for the warning.

    “He’s been bad since Sasuke so unceremoniously dumped him.” XDD ____ Hmm, I guess Itachi doesn’t really care one way or another. ____ As weird as this scene is, I like Itachi’s humor about Orochimaru.
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  • From ANON - Anon on February 04, 2010
    Hey, cool, it’s the return of the witty disclaimers. =)

    Chapter 11: Oh yeah, the kitten. I forgot about him/her. For a minute, when you said “a curious bat,” I was like, “OH CRAP THEY’VE GOT BATS!” ^^;; ____ THAT KITTEN IS SOOOOO CUUUUUUTE!! Ó.Ò ____ I don’t blame him for being scared. ____ Kakashi wasn’t kidding when he said Sasuke was “abusing his body” in chapter 1. I wonder if Kakashi had any idea that things could turn out like this. ____ Love the grim description of how Naruto finds Sasuke. ____ “… and obviously brooding, which you like in a masochist sort of way.” No big deal, but I think you mean “masochistic”. ____ I can see Sasukes’s dilemma about telling Naruto. Naruto doesn’t need to be distracted while he’s on the upcoming mission. And even if Naruto gave up the mission and stayed to help, I’m not sure if there was anything he could do. Well, he could probably give Sasuke some moral support, but Sasuke would also see him worrying and … this is a problem. ____ “Give me control of your body for a bit …” Oh boy. From your warning at the beginning, I know where that’s gonna lead. >:-) ____ “You can come out if you swear not to hurt him.” (*sigh*) You just handed him an excuse to hit on him anyway, Naruto. u.u ____ Boy, that must be creepy for Sasuke to witness. ____ Love Kyuubi’s dirty-talk. It’s hot and it’s creepy. ____ Okay—so Kyuubi lied in earlier chapters, then. He said it was all Naruto. Apparently not. Wouldn’t Naruto hear all this, though? Or would Sasuke have to tell him when Naruto resurfaces? ____ Kyuubi as godfather … I like it. ____ If I were Sasuke, I’d be just a little more nervous, reason aside. I mean, logically, Kyuubi wouldn’t want to mess things up for the offspring, but … there are other ways to inflict damage. And then there’s also his temper. How stable is it? Among other things. Is Sasuke nervous and just isn’t showing it? ____ “I know how to pick winners, don’t I?” Lol. ____ “And I want to collect payment for being forced out here in the first place.” Bullshit. He wasn’t forced out there; he volunteered, and Naruto agreed reluctantly. ____ Still, I like the description of Kyuubi’s nature during sex. ____ I wonder if Naruto had/has any idea how this is turning out. ____ “My kits will come before the end of summer, plump and strong. You humans are as blind as ever to the effects of youma chakra.” Interesting. And prophetic. And I wonder how Sasuke will turn out. He could die in childbirth. And my worry could be Kyuubi’s point about being blind to the effects. ____ Let’s hope none of those kids will take on the “dark role” one sees in the trios of the Naruto-verse. ____ “You. Are just horny.” Hee-hee, honesty. ____ I like that closing line: “So remember, bitch—you owe me one, and I intend to collect.” ____ “He’s… kinda hard up for anything with legs—not even choosy about how many.” (*snicker*) XD ____ What happened to finishing the work the pet fox started?? ò_ó

    “Like something out of a bad Sci-Fi movie,” lol. ^^ ____ I dunno … considering recentish chapters in the manga, I’m afraid they might just opt to kill him and eliminate any potential threat. Not out loud, of course. They’ll hire someone when Naruto’s on his mission. Then again, they’d have to put up with a REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF NARUTO AND KYUUBI, thus making the whole thing a very bad idea. Still, can’t be too careful. ____ “Ever the tactician, Sasuke had planned ahead.” To an extent. He usually plans ahead for a bit, then “CHARGE!” Which is pretty much what he did in this story. =) ____ “This was something he wanted to do, and Naruto was someone he wanted to be with, and when Sasuke made up his mind about something, there was no changing it.” (*chuckles darkly*) Got that right. ____ Hehehe, nice touch about Chouji’s dad. ^^ ____ Lol, “and the Hyuugas just didn’t give a damn.” XD ____ The thing about the Aburame clan surprises me, though. They also seem like the people to not care. As for the Inuzukas, that’s to be expected. And that’s not too bad. Well, actually, I interpret their “weirded out” as “okay, whatever, I really didn’t need to know that, so it’s up to you. I don’t want to be involved.” That sort of weirded out. ____ I wonder what Shikamaru’s and Ino’s dads are thinking. ____ Crap, ANBU. That shouldn’t be too bad, or it should be just annoying, but lately I’ve been more and more wary of them. It seems too easy that the wrong ANBU could get too close. ____ “In fact, he didn’t care if they thought he had three balls of fur in his belly; maybe they’d leave him alone, then.” XDD ____ “Promising to take the two out to dinner.” Lol, that had to be Iruka. I wonder if he’s going to be able to keep Kakashi from sneaking off during that time. Though if they’re shacking up, he can’t hide for loooooong…! ____ “The number one rookie with the hatred of an avenger funneled into a child’s body.” Nice description. ____ Sometimes, I think I’ll never get the appeal of Kakashi x Iruka.

    “Kind of a lame, paragraph-dense excuse for a filler chapter …” Eh, not totally. I wasn’t great on the last part with Kakashi’s insight and all that, but otherwise it was pretty good. (No offense.)
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