Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Watching

By : KeairaxSeiaa

From ANON - Tina on October 30, 2005
err...i'm not sure what's wrong with the review thingy, but the review that's above this review is mine, as in Tina. Not Anon.
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From ANON - Anon on October 30, 2005
Sorry, i should have reviewed this a long time ago. I just started reading this and i'm not even done with the first chapter because it was so funny i just had to review this right now. the phrase "if you manage to pass, it'll violate all laws of time and space" almost killed me. Seriously, i was eatting spicey ramen then i started laughing, which cause me to start chocking on my ramen. And because of the spice, it felt like my thoat was burning. Somehow i manage to survive. Good job! You almost killed me! But that's okay. Sorry again because this review is very old. I wish i could go back in time and review this when you just started on this story. You probably don't care what i'm writing right now so i'll just shut up. Very nice beginning by the way. Ja! :P
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From ANON - Dhampir on October 30, 2005
I don't know why I haven't come across this story yet, maybe because my computer's been broken for about...oh a month now, but anyway: I like your story, its inspiring to read something new and inovative to say the least. Your grammar is wonderful, no mistakes that scream at me, your sentences run together nicely and you've pieced this story together well so far.

I like that you're letting them warm up instead of just having them jump on each other--I love slower moving stories because they're more realistic. I'm intruiged by what Itachi's purpose will be in this plot and of course Sasuke and Naruto's relationship is always fun to read. I'll be looking forward to the next installment, oh and keep the title, it fits. Of course, if you ever decide to write a sequel--to early to tell for that, I know--you could continue with "Waiting" "Wanting" "Seeking" and so on.

Again, wonderful job so far,

--Dhampir

P.S. --> I'm glad to see someone else who uses the

Dhampir
Page 12
Date/Chapter

thingy, I felt weird using it myself and I never saw anyone else who used it. I feel better now, yay!
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From ANON - Sasuke Fangirl #343 on October 29, 2005
Wow, I can't believe how long it is since I've been here (but that's beside the point).

WOW. Oh my f*ck*ng God WOW. That car scene was hot. =F asjfladsjf!

But, seriously, I loved the the way (you wrote it, un) you carried it out. It seemed like nothing that happened to/with/between them was planned, which is SO realistic (because things like that are rarely planned). I don't know if you meant it to be like that or not, but it was just INCREDIBLE. You have no idea. Hmm! I'm so pleased! I've been having a bad week with this whole hurricane business (which is bullshit. i got addicted to pokemon sapphire AGAIN 'cause i had nothing else to do other than angst). :D I was so happy when I went online today and found this story updated...
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From ANON - Heather on October 29, 2005
Hey! It's a fellow southerner! (waves hello)

Sorry...had to get that out of the way.

I really like this story. It seems I've been overlooking lots of good stories lately. Usually I try to steer clear of any and all fan fiction when I need to be writing on my own story, but well, you see how that's working out...it's not.

Starting out what I know will probably be long and drawn out, I must commend you for your portrayal of Naruto. Your writing style allows for us (the readers) to actually see him for what he is: a funny, but slightly awkward boy who is still trying to find his way in the world. He is NOT stupid, and I detest stories where he's made to be that way. Even in the real Naruto 'verse, he may act stupid sometimes (OK, a lot of the time), but underneath it all is a very caring and endearing young man. He may not be the smartest person out there, but his heart and determination more than make up for it.

It cracks me up, though, when in your story he starts rambling. He thoughts are disjointed at times, but that's why I like it. Most people do not think in a steady, solid line. People's thoughts meander, and I appreciate how you've chosen to showcase Naruto's thought processes. He's a spaz, but a loveable (though confused) spaz. He's especially cute when he gets flustered around Sasuke the Molester. =D

Even though your story mainly focuses on Naruto (and his beginning relationship with Sasuke), you still keep all the characters (supporting and main) completely IN character. Sasuke's still an ice pick (er...prick, I meant), but you can tell he still had an underlying sadness about him. Of course, making him into Sasuke the Molester is an added bonus!

Sakura is still hopelessly in love (or lust...whatever) with Sasuke. She still gets on my nerves at times (she's never been one of my favorite characters), but I can actually stand her in your story. In the anime, she's all weak and obnoxious. She, like Naruto, has a lot of heart, but in ninja battles, that can only take you so far. I'm glad that in part two of the manga, she's finally allowed to show off her training with Tsunade.

And Kakashi? Well, he's just...Kakashi. Need I mention more?

Oh, and Shikamaru is the best! I just adore him. The way he's portrayed makes me think back to some of the people I used to hang out with in high school. He just has this laid-back and completely chill attitude with a touch of smart ass. So hot!

And I know that this is a cliched story, but it's really well-written. I don't mind overused plot if the story is good. I posted my very first fan fic a few months back, and I used a cliched plot. Hell, my story is basically a multi-part PWP. I'm only doing it for fun. So, I guess I'm just trying to tell you to have fun with it. I know starting college is rough, and it takes up a lot of time. But try not to let some reviewer responses get to you so much. I know. Easy for me to write that.

Blah...I can never manage to get to the point. Anyways...love the story, update when you can, and try not to let writing stories and life in general stress you out.

* * * * *

"Thunder clapped on the horizon, wind blew though the trees, a distant wolf howled its lament to..."

That line had me cracking up sooo bad. Just had to let you know!

Oh, and your tattoo sounds cool. At least it's unique! I bet you won't find a lot of people with the Anbu symbol upside down. My first tattoo is crooked! Crooked I tell you! I was nervous too, so I didn't notice until AFTER it was permanent. Oh, well. :(
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From ANON - Kenz on October 29, 2005
When are you posting more???????
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From ANON - diamond_princess2006 on October 29, 2005
oh the hotness! the beautiful beautiful hotness! i love where this story is going please continue ^_^
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From ANON - AtsumiHaruko on October 29, 2005
Hm, I don't want to offend you or anything, just consider this a well-meant advice: If you want to respond to every reviewer personally, why not per e-mail/mailing-list? That way, everyone would be happy. ^_^
LOL, I hope you won't hate me for my little review now, won't do it again. Promise.

PS: I don't think this will change anything, but I was starting to like your little story. 'You really sure you wanna abandon the fic?
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From ANON - loser81 on October 28, 2005
This story is very good, I like were its heading so far. The only complaint I have is the length of the chapters. Each chapter is very short (excluding your writings on top and the reviews below). The reviews...honestly shouldn't be so long.... i mean..the whole freaking review part is longer than the chapter! Well..update soon its very good.
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From Lithiel on October 26, 2005
wanna marry me? X3
cuz wih ur last A/N I started to
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From ANON - Kashshaptu on October 25, 2005
whoah o.o I forgot how hot sasuxnaru could be o.o (I've resided in the sasuxnaru fandom before, but now I kinda moved over to Dir en grey). And whoah o.o I neeeeeeed you to update this! I also need a panty refreshment, cause that lime was hot! o.o I still have my mouth hanging open! (seriously >_< I just noticed that) Fwee! Just respond to reviews! It's nice and people who dislike it can just go to hell! *shakes fist*
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From DrapedInBlack on October 24, 2005
I love it! I can't wait for your next update. Please update soon! You kick ass.

-Black
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From Ravensky on October 24, 2005
Well first off I'd like to say, for only five chapters so far and still incomplete this is probably the best Naruto story I have read. This story has kept my attention and I am constantly wondering what is going to happen next. I hope you update soon.

Nakazato Mitsuki ^^
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From ANON - tsusami on October 24, 2005
wah! I just started reading this, but that was hot. *fans self* I like ditzy naruto. He's somewhat OOC but very endearing ^^ keep up the good work!
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From Reyn on October 24, 2005
(laughs at response to Dawn)

You tell her!! Yeah!
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