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Reviews for Boys Night In

By : Koneko
  • From UzumakiIno on May 06, 2007
    Very good! Fairly well written (minor spelling and grammatical errors) and it stars my favorite pairings. Loved it.
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  • From ANON - Rai-chan on December 09, 2005
    OMG... O.o KINKEH!! XD

    ~Rai
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  • From ANON - dsaer on June 01, 2005
    Dat was great write more~!
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  • From ANON - qwerty on May 30, 2005
    i like it
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  • From ANON - Natakamani on May 25, 2005
    Hmmm... Ok. This might be bad, but please dont take it that way. Im a firm believer in constructive crit, after all, without it, how would we ever learn?

    The story has promise, if only for the sake of smut. Which is pretty darn important. *grins*

    However. Your dialoge is pretty clumsy. By that I mean obvious. Though it may not seem like it, most anime is pretty subtle in its dialoge, it leaves you to try to understand what is going on insofar as a persons thoughts, feelings, etc. And to be brutally honest, you story lacks that. For example...

    **“Oh… That would be interesting… I like that idea, let’s go dress in black and put on some hiding clothes.” he grinned.**

    Could use a little work ne? Also, your discriptions are scant, at best, and when they are there, its almost like you wrote the story and had little "put discription here" spots. Perhaps you should space it out a bit? Subtle hints here and there that Kakashi looked like a ghost, whatnot.

    So yeah. THis isnt a flame, I promise you. Im just trying to help you work out the kinks in your story, and I hope it gets better... Sorry if any of this came out wrong. Good luck!

    Much luv,
    Nata
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