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Reviews for Colorful Darkness

By : Darius83
  • From oohshiny on November 15, 2007
    it's excellent. and i digress, what guy would want pink hair? WOULDN'T HE JUST DYE IT? anyway, if you continue the story, email me. my email is deannathx@comcast.net
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  • From Rick2589 on May 23, 2007
    Not bad! Could use some touches here and there. But all around good story.
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  • From ANON - Lady_Quotes on September 04, 2006
    Nice plot! Can't wait to see where you go with it. Keep it up and try to get another chapter going. Pretty pretty please! *puppy eyes of doom* (very cute and pleading eyes, think Puss'n'boots from Shrek, lol)

    Lq
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  • From Celira on December 11, 2005
    Heheeeee. Nice new chapter. Although-- once again, keep an eye on Daisuke. Don't let him turn into a leeeetle too much of a stereotype. Glad to hear you made it safely, and I enjoyed reading.
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  • From ANON - padoopadoop on December 10, 2005
    This is fun! I like the way the group is interacting, both amongst themselves and with Daisuke. I am looking forward to more.
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  • From ANON - Carms on August 24, 2005
    Great start. Please post more. It's interesting to read a fic that's from a different POV. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
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  • From ANON - Celira on August 15, 2005
    Hoo, keeping the Mary Sue/Gary Stu warning in mind, I'm very interested in seeing where this one is headed. It appears to be well-written so far, and that's always good. Also, your dynamic with the characters is good, as far as I can tell, though there's not much to tell from. If ever you need a beta, I'd be happy to help for a story with potential like this; my e-mail is posted with this review, and I'm "naifun" on Livejournal as well. Cheers!
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  • From ANON - yumi on May 30, 2005
    ur fanfic seemz interestin so far lol plz write more interestin how daisuke hair is pink lol
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  • From ANON - Chelsey on May 29, 2005
    I really like this story. I feel kinda bad for him though, pink hair.....*shakes head* The poor guy is cursed! Anywho update soon, fab second chapter!

    -Chelsey- AKA: HisBeautiful
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  • From ANON - Saico on May 28, 2005
    That last line was a laugh. Looks like Naruto and Daisuke don't start with the right foot. For some reason, I get a better vibe from Daisuke in Big-bro mode than in Kick-ass-ninja mode, not that the second one is bad.

    And I like your choice of pairings too.
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  • From ANON - Shibbles on May 25, 2005
    Nice first chapter. Daisuke seems okay (just don't focus on him too much or make him a complete ass) and it isn't yaoi (is that even possible?!?!?!). I say that it should be NaruxHina just because it isn't done enough.
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  • From ANON - Isarandel on May 25, 2005
    hmmm... interesting~ write more!!
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  • From ANON - Time Shifter on May 25, 2005
    Not sure what to say yet; need to see more. On pairings; DEFINITELY NaruHina. Other than that, I'll need to see more.
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  • From ANON - The Gandhara on May 25, 2005
    Quite interesting. With that attitude, Daisuke reminds me quite a bit of the Sasuke from the beginning, before Oroshimaru's curse seal. Although more mature, of course. I think there's a bit of Kakashi in him too, with his lack of tension in the face of danger. The fighting scene was very detailed, but I'm not sure about Daisuke's defense. While the shurikens cut through one enemy each, I'd think they'd slow down a bit, giving time to the enemies to reach and overwhelm Daisuke.

    I think you should devise a couple flaws for Daisuke. Maybe make him the kind of guy who doesn't lift a finger to help in the house and leaves his mother/sister/girlfriend to slave after him. Or give him a phobia or an embarrassing hobby. Him having excellent abilities is perfectly okay, but coupled with the hint of a dark secret in him (or so it looks from your summary) and the fact that an OC is the main star of the fic, it puts him dangerously close to be called a Gary Stu. On the good side, you didn't make him well respected like Kakashi nor loved by everyone; and you didn't gave him a bloodline either. That's good.

    I vote for NaruHina. It's been forever since a fic with that coupling appeared around here.
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  • From ANON - armed and dangerous on May 25, 2005
    Hmm, pretty good. A few mistakes here and there, but good overall. Couldn't help but chuckle at his little crack regarding his hair color before he killed the last enemy. Pink would be an unfortunate hair color for a guy to have. One thing that does concern me, however. Your original character is already dangerously close to being a dreaded Mary Sue. For one, he's related to a main character (or any character for that matter), and two, he's an exceptionally powerful ninja. Please don't go into the tragic past bit, because that will only confirm it. I just hope you can avoid Sue status with this character. Your first chapter was pretty good, nice fight scene and all, just avoid a Mary Sue and all will be fine.

    As far as a beta is concerned, well, you might want to try randomsomeone on ff.net. Though she works mostly with Gaara/Sakura pairings (she writes exceptional stories with those two) she probably will beta for you if you ask her nice.
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