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Reviews for Too Much

By : UbakeNeko
  • From ANON - Jidougan on June 25, 2006
    girl at hayate's grave is Uzuki Yuugao.
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  • From ANON - tomieharley on June 18, 2006
    Awesome story! For some reason, I couldn't get that female ANBU out of my head. I guess I just felt bad for her losing Hayate the way she did. Glad to see someone else noticed her too.
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  • From ANON - blisblop on June 13, 2006
    Neat,I like that she was HERSELF and strong enough a character not to need a name.A nice surprise.Your descriptions are hot and have sentiment,a fine balancing act.Cheers.
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  • From Kusachu on April 19, 2005
    WOW! This is a very original idea! I like it! The only thing that bothered me was the mental image of hayate...hahahaha....but it was cool to see some rarely seen characters. *would have been nice to picture someone else...* But alas, what can you do about something like that? Good fic though! You handled the fact that no one knows "ANBU lady's" name really well! Impressive. *Still...the image of hayate!* yeah. Planning on writing more? d(^-^)b
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  • From ANON - Asmodeus on April 19, 2005
    There wasn't many names, but I know who you were talking about. Even though it was short, not really graphic in nature...I thought that was beautiful. A very sad look from somone looking back wishing she had done something different. If I could rep you for making a lemon that wasn't about sex I would. Great job.
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  • From ZiriOkamiotoko on April 19, 2005
    Yay! Mad props to you for giving love to not only Hayate, but the sexy pruple haired ANBU chick. This was very hot, and very well written, considering we know absolutely nothing about ANBU girl aside from the Hayate love. And there can never be too much het love, so I adore you for that, too. Thanks for sharing, it was an awesome read.
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  • From Sephirajo on April 17, 2005
    That was pretty good. You know how to spell, and you know grammar so you're over the first two humps that most authors get stuck on. Then there's plot, story, word usage and character. All seem to be in place. It seems like something that could happen, so that's a plus. The little bit of background story you worked in there was good too.

    A couple things so, you might want to try putting the transitional scenes, the scenes that aren't depicting lovemaking, in italics and remove the * * *~***, It might be just me, but I think that would flow a little better. Also watch out when using words like "juices" and "cock". Generally speaking, there are better, less...well...giggly words you can use for these concepts. It breaks the flow of what is otherwise a wonderful little short story.

    Other than that, good start. ^__~
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