Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Teamwork

By : Askerian

From ANON - NeeN on December 30, 2006
ok forget wat I said and oh yeah LLOOVVEEE ITTTT!!! YOU ARE AN AWSOME WRITEER!
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From ANON - NeeN on December 30, 2006
You guys don't like Sakura don't you?? well I don't want to tell you how to write your story so don't get offensive of what I say cause I'm not trying to tell you to do it just to listin(or read) but Sakura understands Naruto as well, and the 9-tails will not go into a new container, that requires another seal, he will just be free from any seal and even if he caused Sakura to be pregnete then Sakura is carrying the baby not the 9-tails and if she is then the 9-tails would be trannsfering himself using sex and that means Sasuke would hol a bit of nine_tails too and that means the 9-tails chakra will be visiblein Sasuke and sakura and Hinata or Neji can spot it and kill those parts of the nine-tails
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From ANON - NeeN on December 30, 2006
LOVE ITTT!!!
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From ANON - Golden on November 07, 2006
THANK YOU!!! :cheers and bounces around hyperly: You just gave me a new favorite pairing. :grins: I never really thought about those three together before, though I do admit to reading quite a bit of SasuNaru. But, yeah. This pairing/group, whatever is just...:grins: It makes so much sense to me, it's kinda scary. XD
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From ANON - kyuubigirl on June 21, 2006
I just read this in one shot and first I'd like to applaud you for all the time you spent writing this. Those chapters were long, but wonderful. The reviews must be gone, but I saw the notes about people freaking out with the pairings. I actually can relate to that, I didn't want to read this since one of my greatest fears is Naruto losing Sasuke to Sakura (so actually the lack of reconnecting the Naruto/Sasuke relationship made me sad only in the last two chapters when I thought he changed his mind about being more interested in Naruto) but that's no bother, and definitely not a criticism. I wonder if you really even need the epilogue? I mean this story was absolutely fabulous from beginning to end, and the way you managed to juggle three very interesting characters all at once and shift to different points of view--you must have unbelievable talent. And the story was so engaging that I agree about what people said about this being a possible arc in the actual storyline. The details were just great, and I forget if you had a beta or not but either you or you and your beta deserve some serious kudos because those chapters were pretty much flawless. I'll be sure to send the word out to the more close minded SasuNaru/NaruSasu fans, because I thought I could read this after I read Foxplay (which is probably the best NaruSasu I've ever read) so I trusted you that you wouldn't break my heart with this story. (Am I getting too into this)? But seriously, up until chapter 6, I thought you expressed a stronger bond in the Naruto/Sasuke relationship than some fanfics completely devoted to just them. And who can deny that our Naruto hasn't had feelings for Sakura... half the high school AU fics start in a manner where Naruto is hitting on Sakura before he ever moves to Sasuke.

Bah, it's just like three men and a little baby except Steve Gutenberg is replaced by Sakura. And they're all ninjas. Can't there just be two daddies and Kakashi is the godfather? I can't wait to start reading your sequel to this. OMG and please feel free to write more narusasu (you are absolutely AMAZING at those).
Yeah, and don't worry about those other bastards telling you how to write your story... aren't there enough stories with their pairings out there already that they can just bury their heads in those? seriously. great job. but i do hope in the sequel that naruto and sasuke shag like they promised they would, ne?
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From ANON - T-chan on November 26, 2005
Absolutely don't understand...XD
But I hope it's good...OO;
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From Tigerlily7prb on November 20, 2005
Beautiful. Just Lovely.
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From ANON - lstdpnthght on August 29, 2005
This story was incredibly touching and well-written. Good job!
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From ANON - Natsuki on August 06, 2005
Intersting thory on Naruto's seal(the Kyuubi one), but (and I'm not saying that it wasn't bad) I was at a web-site (www.narutoworld.com)
and in the Character Analysis section of the site, under the Forth Hokage's profile this is what it said about the seal:

(Sorry for it being long and explains the whole other things about the seal)

'Fuuin Jutsu Shiki Fuujin or �Dead Demon Imprisonment� is
a contract made with the God of death sealing a Demon or
person inside the body of another for the purpose of containing
enormous powers, but the price is that the Jutsu user must exchange
his life for this service. This was the fourth Hokages� final sacrifice to
the village of Konoha when he sealed the Fox Demon inside Naruto�s
stomach saving the hidden leaf in exchange for his own life, but also
knowingly sealing the giant charka inside Naruto with a seal that would
eventually allow Naruto�s body to absorb the power within him, to use
as a powerful aide in battle, by using an even numbered seal so that
the charkas could align. This also caused Naruto to take on some
characteristics of the Kyuubi such as the ability to heal with amazing
speed and whickers on his face.'

I hope that explains everything about the seal.
The story is great so far!!
Keep up the good work!
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From ANON - The_Yaoi_Fairie on June 17, 2005
Oh yeah and you might like to know that I'm not a fan of Sakura, and try to avoid fics with her, but you made her work, and the entire story worked, and as much as I would love to see Sasuke getting buggered by every male in Konoha without that annoying girl anywhere in sight, your fic could not have existed without her, and it was wonderful because of how you portrayed her. You have a great idea, you're a great storyteller, and those people who told you to leave out Sakura are stupid uncultured phillistines who can't tell the difference between Dickens and dick.
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From ANON - The_Yaoi_Fairie on June 17, 2005
XD That was GREAT!!! I really, really loved how incredibly in-character everyone was, I feel like you portrayed everyone so ACCURATELY--- like, I can actually SOO this being a real story arc in the Anime, except for... you know, in Japan, I don't think there are any themes that would really be too bad for TV... I mean, you DID keep the sex toned down... so yes, 100%, I can see this happening. Even with the references to anal sex! (Remember how explicit GTO got!!)

YOU ROCK!!!! You are in In-Character master. NOW ON TO THE SEQUELS!!!!
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From ANON - The_Yaoi_Fairie on June 16, 2005
OH SHIT.

(Uhm Yeah I'm up to Ch. 2 now I don't remember if the reviews go by chapter or not...)

I am completely wrapped up in this story. It's really good, I mean this plot is so gripping it's gonna leave bruises. Well-written, too, with a great balance of seriousness, suspense, action, humor (The humor! "He lifted his arms and held her tight, because that was what he was supposed to do in these cases, wasn't it? Or was it slapping?" LOL-- but then it cycled right back around to serious about the slapping later on) and you're doing such a good job so far with creating trhis amazing creative interesting story based on the Naruto universe and keeping everyone so beutifully In Character... OMG I'm shutting up now so I can keep reading.

Oh yeah and THANKS for the SPOILER WARNINGS. >____
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From ANON - Cinaril Alaron on May 26, 2005
Write more, Damnit!
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From ANON - nothri on April 26, 2005
Great. Just great. Just when I'm giving up on this website you come along and write this utterly enthralling story. Now I'm looking around wondering where my afternoon went! Thanks a lot!

In all seriousness, here's a few things I enjoyed about this story:

1. In most erotic fanfictions the sex is the center of the action. The morning after is usually used as a way to end the story. Here you began the story after the sex was over, and most of the tale centers around dealing with the consequences of that event. I think you've done an excellent job of letting the characters come to terms with events and build a relationship.

2. I'm not usually a fan of YAOI, I must admit. I can appreciate a good sex scene as much as anyone, but two men aren't what I'm interested in (no offense to those who are into that). This fanfiction, though, really holds my interest because you spend so much time developing the relationship between all three characters. I end up caring as much about Sasuke+Naruto as much as Sasuke+Sakura or Naruto+Sakura. You succeeded in explaining the bonds between all three of them and made it compelling to read about.

3. More generally speaking, your grasp on all these characters is really wonderful. When a chapter focuses on a particular POV, there is almost always one character that I have to labor through because I am eager to get on to the next character. Not in this case. While I often found myself wondering what the other two characters were thinking or feeling (usually along with the character whose POV I was reading) I was always happy to have that window on that one character's perspective. Not only were each of your characters engaging, they were also unique. You did an excellent job for showing how different Sasuke was from Naruto as Naruto was from Sakura. On top of that, I felt like the story was very much in character (even with a homosexual relationship between characters I would normally swear are utterly heterosexual).

4. Good balance between dealing with the inner struggles of the relationship and the outer threat of city Council. I haven't read many fics that have as much happen as you do yet spend as much attention to their character's as you have. Usually we have either the relationship or the action. You also handle the action very much in the spirit of Naruto, which I also approve of.

5. You've got enough light moments here that the fic is fun to read. They relieve the tension of the story, and make the dramatic moments even more dramatic. All the playful banter we get amid all the talk of what to do about the baby is a good example.

6. Incidentally, I think my favorite moment in your story was Sakura shooting down any plan to claim Naruto raped her. That whole scene was very touching and I'm glad you included it.

There are so many small things you put in the story I can't list them all here. Suffice to say I loved the cohesion of one chapter melting into another, from Sakura's affection for her 'boys' to Sasuke struggling with showing tenderness.

If there was one problem I had with the story, it would be the necessity of having the whole fiction be Alternate Universe. I completely understand why this has happened, but I can't help but feel that the characters are going miss out on some things. Honestly, the story is so well written part of me keeps wanting it all to be a part of the 'canon' Naruto. Minor gripe, really, and not one you can do anything about. But wanted to bring it up anyway, just to be fair.

Looking forward to the sequel!
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From ANON - squealer on April 19, 2005
This story is so freaking awesome. Its so cleanly written, neat and precise and that sounds weird but that is really something to be envied. Your Sakura is awesome. I love Inner-Sakura's comments. I love the dynamic between the three and Sasuke's penchant for biting Naruto (at least once a chapter it seems) is highly amusing and kinda sexy. Naruto is perfect. I luuurv him sooo much. Thank you for such an awesome read.
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