Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Broken

By : arora1

From ANON - jazzy on August 29, 2005
I absolutely love this story, you really do get the emotions of Sasuke and Naruto out well. You express them well, though there are some mispelling and stuff despite it all this is a very moving highly emotional and intense peice of work you have here and I hope you will post another chapter soon because it's going to be thrilling to see what Itachi has planned for out boyz.
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From ANON - Carrot on August 28, 2005
Yay! New chapter! >_< They take too long! GR!!^^ Burt they're sooooooooooooo good! I love yur writing!! eeek!
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From ANON - blisblop on August 26, 2005
Wow.What a turn around.I was very moved at the intellegent/aware treatment of Sasuke.It hit doubly hard after the chap that proceded it.Wow again.Naruto was very,very brave,it is oddly ironic he was using sex to "drug"(make him forget) Sasuke into forgetting his pain but it made a good point there are things as good/better than drugs to make certain things(lots and lots) better.It was just a well done mature chap and there are more good points I'll cover in my next reveiw,I just wants to" say hey" as soon as possible.Kudos.
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From ANON - Choi-sama on August 26, 2005
This gonna be short. Heh heh.
I'm starting to think you actually read my reviews. Yay! The dialouge was much better, and you had good flow. The only real problem I'm seeing is that there's still too much "explaining" going. A good story should let the characters talk naturally, like real people.
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From ANON - Neotthe66 on August 26, 2005
*just caught up with everyone else*

Let me get this straight...

Naruto has always been considered a demon by most of the villagers since he was born. This blonde had tried his best to display himself as the exact opposite of the fox demon inside him but the majority of the villagers STILL thought of him as Kyuubi.

Now, Naruto became infamous as Orochi's 'pet' who was used to destory about a dozen towns and cities. This has given the youko-hating Konoha villagers solid proof (or excuse...whichever) that the boy was really a blood-thristy demon that they always assumed him as. Yet...instead of hating Naruto even more...they all decided to realize at that moment...that Naruto was really a poor little tormented boy after all who Konoha needs to bring back into their lives?

...WTF?!

All Naruto had to do was act like a monster in order to get all of Konoha to acknowledge him as human and not as a merciless beast!! That meant all the good deeds Naruto has done for the sake of the village before was all for nothing!! THAT MAKES NO SENSE!!
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From ANON - Leasan on August 26, 2005
Ooooh... A NaruSasu citrus! :) So sweet and sexy, and touching...
And the chap is so funny, too!! Gai's antics and Neji's reactions are just too hilarious, really XD !!
Oh, by the way, does Shino know about their little love-making, thanks to the bug?... But he's a one super-discreet guy, isn't he? :)
I'm anxious to read the next chap, as always :) Update asap!!
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From ANON - Hitomi No Ryu on August 26, 2005
Great chapter!! Loved how the nurse knocked some sense into Gai and the others!! And well done on Naruto's outburst!! UPDATE SOON! UPDATE SOONER! UPDATE NOW!
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From ANON - bookworm51485 on August 26, 2005
Wow, I loved this new chapter. And I guess they'll finally be going home, I want to see how Naruto reacts to Iruka, would probably do a lot towards making him feel better. Also do we get to see Gaara in this story? I love Gaara, and I love your story. So much so that I risked Hurricane Katrina frying my computer instead of turning it off when I saw that there was an update. YAY!!! So update soon, sooooooooon:D
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From ANON - Drian on August 25, 2005
Somehow, I feel like the story's slowly coming to an end. *sniffles* i don't want it to end!! *cries like a baby*
Love this fic, you've done a great job!
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From ANON - Billy on August 17, 2005
This story is the bomb.
Write MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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From ANON - blisblop on August 17, 2005
Last three chaps.Great,really tence,really moving and emotional.I can just imagine how happy Sasuke is ,thats wonderful and I am glad you made it realistic and said the reason for the use was still there.Very well done.Shino said all the wrong things.Not one has said how amazing it was he escaped Orochimaru with a habit.Positive reenforcement not swearing and I don't respect you.Who needs that!You made an enemy baka Shino.
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From ANON - blisblop on August 17, 2005
Methadone is way more addictive then heroin,its terrible for your liver,the only and I mean only good thing about it is its legal.He would be better off taking reductions in heroin each day.Methadone takes three weeks to get off of a one week habit,heroin only takes five days.He is getting clean heroin too even better.Methadone changes the hormones in women and men.Its brutal.In England and Toronto(also Holland ect) you can get pharmacudical heroin from a docter to get down or even maintain your habit.You can live a full life and have a habit.Its the law that makes it hard not the drug.Americans do not like people to know this but Europe,Canada(tries) and the U.K. treat drugs as a health issue not a legal issue there for most of our citizens are not in jail for health reasons.Canada has a hard time changing its laws cause Americans try to interfer,no news there eh?Methadone was created by the Natzis in World War 2 to make up for the morphine shortage.It was created using P.O.W.s and Jewish prisi nors.It also makes you gain weight and rots your teeth,I mean your teeth break not they get cavities,these are things the establishment will not confirm though doctors will.It makes money for companies and doctors since it is artifical.But if it is all you can get its better than jail.Keep your dose as low as posibble and look after yourself well as you can.
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From ANON - blisblop on August 17, 2005
Chap 17 O.D.- Ok.Gotta stop to reveiw right here.You never,ever come on violent,esp try to knock a needle out of someones arm it can break off or cause the person to put in bubbles or shot more then they where going to not to mention ripping veins all to hell..It may work to stop someone from trying drugs,its not gonna stop an addict since most addicts keep doing drugs to aviod pain ,abuse violence,mental and physical..Only the addict themselves can decide to stop.Gai would send someone into convultions screaming and shaking them.How brain dead.A heroin OD is painless,you fall asleep,forever.There is a shot you can give an ODing on heroin,Its called Narcon and it blocks the brain receptors for narcotics ,they go from dead to pissed that you"wasted their shot".You keep giving it every time they go"under"until the narcotic(any drug based on opium ie.Heroin,liquid codine,morphine,methadone ect,yes it works on artificial narcotics too,most needle exchanges that have nurses have Narcon in Canada) is out of their system or they will OD again in 45 minutes.You have 3 minutes to give the Narcon.It sounds like you have him pouring the heroin into the syringe ,it is drawn up from the spoon through a small filter to get any crap out.For future acuracy.Thank you.
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From ANON - Choi-sama on August 17, 2005
But the writing is a tad mediocre. You keep improving though. =) It's awesome to see someone actually benefit from this stuff. I suggest you write a little more on the setting, the procedures... Stuff like that. Just whatever can give the story color. The dialouge isn't that great though. Gai was pretty out there from the start, but the bone-crushing-hug/youthful-spring-lecture combo was a damn funny way to bring his score back up. He really needs more sappy moments. (Besides, he doesn't curse at all in the cannon.) Also... Hm, Sasuke and Naruto are pretty good, especially Sasuke. The kissing scene and the "I can't tell you I love you." scene were fabulous. Good, good job with those. The thing about not being addicted, but missing an escape was also very cool. It conveyed real emotion that we, the general, perverted public, can relate to. ^^ In fact, I think Sasuke is the biggest character in this whole series... Naruto is obviously important, but more to the plot than to anything else. There are some apparent Neji-stirring here and there, but again, he's way too rough. The characterization is alright, but dialouge is messy and doesn't quite fit his character. There are some well-executed "serious moments," but it really goes downhill when someone decides to spaz out. (Except Sasuke, that guy is pure gold.) (So is Naruto's hair.) But, what else? Let's see... Shino. I guess he's always been one of those all-knowing, omnicents, and that works out fine. I just wish he was a little more subdued and that you wouldn't describe his as "the spiky-haired controller of bugs." It's an awful lot to process, and, do I dare say it? A tad corny... Haha, I'm just describing myself, aren't I? Anyway, it doesn't read to smoothly, that's really all. I have to say though, before I stop writing... The emotion/psychological factor is really high up there! Seriously, you convey a lot of the deep pain that comes from rape, drugs, being un/important, and (this one was potrayed rather strangely I admit, but the way Sasuke deals makes up) being tough and alone only to find the people who deserted you... BOSSING YOU AROUND?!?! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!! Yeah, that one definetely works, but Neji and Gai's antics do troube and confuse me at times.

Jesus Christ, I wrote a lot. Oh well. I hope you read the whole thing. ^__^ I know I was really... opinionated on this one (I just wrote what I thought.), so if you like the way Gai calls Sasuke a prick or keeping the background bland (maybe to put more focus on the shit that's happening?), then don't mind me. My pennies aren't worth another thought... TT__TT Heh heh, but I think I have to say this... Yeah, I have to say this!

...How's high school?
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From ANON - hogo-chan on August 16, 2005
thank you so much for updating! These last few chapters have been absolutely amazing! I cant tell you how impressed I am with your fic! It's really come a long way! ^_^ I cant wait to read the next chapter!
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