Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Chasing Naruto

By : megladon129

From ANON - ochiba on May 25, 2005
You have a wonderful writing style. I really enjoy your portrayel of both Naruto and Sasuke. However, you've got way too much going on in your story, and your love triangle/quadrilateral is cliche and unnecessary. The rapport you are building up between Naruto and Sasuke is not too far from sublime as far as fandom characterization goes; it doesn't need the standard throw in Neji/Gaara to create external obstacles. Sure it's what fangirls and guys love, but so is every other love triangle/quadrilateral fic out there --some told better, some told worse than your own.

Meh. I don't want to be insulting or tell you how to write your fic, and you can't change what you've already started, but it looks like this is going to end up just as yet another well written fan work cheapened by reader review addiction with that whole more cliches equal more chapters equal more reviews of "wow this fic is great"... formula. Honestly, it is one of the better reads because again, your writing is lovely... but I think I'll stop now, as again, I'm not trying to tell you how to write your fic, I'm just saying why I've stopped reading it.

I *do* think you are a super-duper Naruto fanfic writer, and I hope that later you'll write other fics that I can read and ideally finish ^_^;;

I'm uber-sorry if this review offends! That isn't the point of it. Recently a lot of writers have been asking for constructive feedback, and as I tend to avoid reviewing fics right away, I felt like I was being a "bad" fanworks reader, since I'm not going to be finishing this fic I figured I should at least give you a review since I have read every chapter up until now. If you aren't one of these writers and you don't want crits like this, then again, please forgive me.

To other readers, this is just my opinion and yet another review... it is not meant to start a debate.
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From ANON - 123 on May 24, 2005
I *adore* your interactions between Naruto and Sasuke when they get cute (like in this chapter-naruto and the cute sleeping sasuke). Dont get me wrong, smut is right up there too. The piece on Neji was well done! The parts with him thinking during the flashback were very amusing.

I've almost convinced myself that the person Naruto will beat up (if this happens, mind you) will be Sasuke. I wish it were Neji (wouldnt be Gaara...too...little? Hehe). But everytime Naruto kicks someone's ass, he changes their view on life (I think you mentioned before that Naruto beat up Neji once in your 'verse...). I dunno, if you were following a pattern with the manga, Sasuke is the only one whose ass he hasnt kicked yet (true, they fought, but Sasuke kinda won that one).

And on that bet...I my honest opinion, I really don't want Naruto to be all offended and putting up a stink because he was being treated as property (harhar). I mean, he probably will, I just think it would be cliched. *sigh* Ah well, not to say that it will be badly written or anything. You'll find a way to make it work anyway ^_^ Maybe Sasuke finally admitting to Naruto that he loves him will make things all better. *kicks Sasuke* Are you about to go mad because we havent seen him in the season 2 manga yet? I know I am. Probably will look like a mini-Orochimaru, but still. Rawr. Anyway, I always come here to read your chapters, and however you twist Naruto and Sasuke, you've assured us that it will indeed be a smutty NaruSasu (my twisted self prefers Sasuke as uke...) so go nuts! (Now is the part where I look back on this and say "Wow, this was all over the place/random"...)
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From ANON - Anon on May 24, 2005
LONG LIVE NEJIXNARU!!!!!!
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From ANON - lo on May 24, 2005
Nice, I like how you are going into the minds of the characters, I feel that I have a real understnading of the flow of the story. Great job.
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From ANON - LtF on May 24, 2005
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO NARUTOOOOOOOOOO don't give up on Sasuke ;______________; He lurves you!!! Just get him drunk and then he'll confesssssssssssssssssss ;_________________;
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From WhiteLiger on May 24, 2005
Yet another amazing chapter. It was interesting to see Neijis reason.
*sniggers* And I can just see him dressed as Juliet too. With the 'We are not amused' look on his face. Hehehe
Anyways, that was a funny chapter more then anything and I have to thank you for the brilliant timing on updating combined with me getting the update email.
Just when I was thinking I was going to fall apart from the agony of a karate belt grading ITS HERE!

Look foreward to more.
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From ANON - Yurikai Kurosaki on May 24, 2005
GOD DAMN STUPID PHONE!!!BAD BAD BAAAAAAAAD TIMING!!!LOL

Naruto finally gets trapped in a corner and Sasuke is slowly getting on top. The tables really did turn, well...for a while I guess..
Oh and the Neji-Naruto Sheakespear flash was rather unexpected! Pretty funny!!
Poor Neji tough. And Gaara too (I wonder what's his story..long time we haven't hear from him..?_?).Still I really do adore them, but right now, I'd kill to have more Naruto-Sasuke!!!!

Admit it already!!!C'mon Sasuke say it, it's not that difficult, 4 words :*I. Love. You. Naruto.*....There you go..see? Told ya it was easy!^^....h�h�

" Whatever you write, even tough it gets me frustrated in the end of each chapter (wanna know more!!), I'm in love with your fic!^_______^"
I'm so sad there's only one update left...*soaked puppy eyes*

Well....Go chapter 14!!!

See ya

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From ANON - Stranj100 on May 24, 2005
Ah, blame it all on shakespeare. I think this is the first time I've ever seen a rival's position legitamized in a Naruto slash fic. Good job! The romantic in me is almost rooting for Neji now. It makes me kinda sad for him, too.
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From ANON - kai on May 24, 2005
7 yrs is a long time for a crush, poor neji!!
anyways, great update, i really enjoy the shameless teasing from naruto about sasuke! it's so funny. I really enjoy reading your fics, you write them so well!!
so what happens now, since we know naruto likes sasuke??
UPDATE SOON!
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From ANON - shizuou on May 24, 2005
OMFGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *squeel* holy shit..ake mushrooms
Your writing is fatabulous!!!! Omgggg I cant wait for you
to update. I absolutly loe this fic to friggen peices!!!!
Dear god I hope you update soon! Pleaseee do so!
I cant wait. God I love it love it loveitloveitloveit
LOVE IT -INSERT 35096803476 HEARTS-
Uhm, my e-mail isnt working but I would like
a heads up when you update! If you have AIM
my AIM is (shizuou) Have fun updating!!!!!
xo rhichan xo
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From ANON - Rowan on May 24, 2005
Wow, good job, i love this fanfic, please post one more before you leave for Japan, and bye the way, have a fun time in Japan!!
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From ANON - dark_Angel on May 24, 2005
OMG OMG OMG!!! cant waaaaiiitt for the last chapter *whine* hurry and post soon!!! ^^
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From ANON - vampchic on May 24, 2005
I soooo love this story!!! Absolutely love it! And what a yummy and torturous way to wake up! Poor Sasuke, but he isn't getting any until he admits his feelings. Really don't blame Naruto about that. And I love the Negi as Juliet! The whole tootsie roll part had me laughing my ass off! I fell out of my chair! Really cant wait for the next update! I soo want to read more!
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From Jiro on May 24, 2005
Huzzah!!!! Cute Sasuke, flustered Sasuke, and SEDUCTIVE Sasuke all in ONE?!?! You�re obviously trying to kill me. I swear if I weren�t a stronger person I�d have died from blood loss ages ago. That�s a demeaning way to go: dying of a bloody nose and excessive blushing. ^_^ But there are definitely worse ways.

Man, I was laughing and holding my breath during that morning �wake up� scene with Naruto and Sasuke. LoL. I absolutely LOVE the way you portray them. It�s definitely AU and you�ve made them YOUR characters but they�re still distinctly� them. I don�t know but this is one of my favorite Naruto fics of ALL time. Definitely in the top ten. And I�ve read TONS.

And the flashback with Neji was a really nice touch. It gave him some more depth and almost kinda made me want to root for him instead. ALMOST. Maybe Rock Lee can show up and they can get down and dirty? LoL. I�m only half serious. I just think NejiLee is one of the funniest odd couples ever created. Anyway, GREAT story! Can�t wait to read more� but I guess I�ll have to. Oh well. At least this story is definitely good enough that I won�t be in danger of forgetting about it� plus I can almost garuntee that I�ll read it like 8 times before you get back. Have fun and thanks for posting!

-Jiro ^_^

P.S. Thanks for putting me on the ML so I know about updates too!

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From ANON - La La on May 24, 2005
Oh my gosh! The bed scene was fricking hilarious. I was gaping. O.O I mean, hello!~ They lost control. ^^ Teehees. Poor Neji, I feel that he's going to be heartbroken. x.x
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