Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Promises of Betrayal

By : moonprincess90
  • From ANON - bbb on February 08, 2006
    dude thats so not hot... first he rapes him then he cares? :S
    Report Review

  • From ANON - broken raven on November 16, 2005
    You just HAD to make the ending an angst factory didn't you? That's alright, there are too many freaking too-perfect-to-be-true happy endings anyways.
    ::randomly pokes you with a stick::
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Demon on March 14, 2005
    update!!! i love the story so far....well i hope Sasuke is able to keep Naruto safe and everything like that. aww *cries* porr Naruto having Sasuke do that to him when he cared for Sasuke so deeply....i hope Sasuke and Naruto can get over there struggles in life and that in the end they are together and are happy for having each other.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Melissa on March 14, 2005
    This is getting to be really good. I have to agree with T. that you are getting better. There are a few things I really liked that you did. One of these is your use of description. For example, this passage here sounded great, "Falling into her chair, she pinched the bridge of her nose to relieve the stress building there, “Go and look for him.”
    Excellent use of detail. You were showing, not telling how this character was feeling. Worried and stressed. Very good!
    Lets see, I also liked this part here,

    "Slowly he took out a kunai and pressed it to his best-friend’s neck. It was hard to tell when the other boy had gained such a status in his life, when he had gone from a mere annoyance to something precious. He stayed like that for some time. Just looking at him. The sun bright hair, earthy skin, and whiskered cheeks melding with his eyes to make a creature of daylight and sunshine. To make him so inaccessible to a dark creature like himself.

    Sasuke stood and dropped the kunai. He wouldn’t kill Naruto in his sleep no matter how merciful it might seem, to both of them. His only friend and rival deserved better than that."

    I like how you started in with telling us what Sasuke was doing, but then interupted the action with a little bit of detail and narration, and added a little more action with a little more narration. This part worked really well.

    Some of the stuff to work on is re-reading it and making sure your audience doesn't get confused with your typos. Considering your difficulties with writing you are doing excellent work. You just need a copy editor. :) Thanks for sharing your work.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Nirokichan on March 12, 2005
    This is definitely one of the best fics I've ever read with SasuNaru!!!! Please Please PLEASE write more!!!! I wanna find out what happens next!!!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Jill on March 12, 2005
    I swear this fic keeps getting better and better! This third chapter was just awesome and I was happy. A really good plot is starting to devolop and I cant wait for more to come out! This is really great and I hope more comes out soon cause I cant wait! n_n
    Report Review

  • From ANON - TenshiKaitou on March 06, 2005
    yay, Sasuke did care after all. From the previous two chappies, I almost believe that Sasuke has lost his mind to sadism. XD Update soon!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Broken Raven on March 06, 2005
    Wow, after rereading this, your writing has improved alot since the first chapter. Congratz!
    ::gives gold star:: ^^
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Hara Junko on November 23, 2004
    Wow! tat was HOT!!! I enjoyed it but it was too short...
    hope u update soon, couldn't wait for de next chap!
    tata
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Anon on November 15, 2004
    more or else!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - TenshiKaitou on November 11, 2004
    Yay...am I the first reviewer? Hm...that's cool! Anyway back to the fic, nice one (made Gai's good guy pose)! I especially like the first chappie. Otherwise, I think the sex scene in chappie 2 could be better (Or maybe I'm just one heck of a horny bastard, lol) You should continue and hurry update! Gambette.
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!