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Reviews for The Ward

By : FieldDranzer
  • From PennilessRonin on November 24, 2019

    Huh. Didn't know that AFF.org had a problem with that. Weird as hell.

    I was also completely unaware that your stories were in fact commissions in the first place, so apologies for aiming complaints with the content at you (if nothing else, each of your stories are incredibly well written and engaging from a technical standpoint (IE. grammar, punctuation, spelling, level of descriptiveness, the dialogue, the actual sex), even if I find myself consistently uninterested because the MC's always Sasuke).

    The only thing that really bothered me about Miranda as a Hyuuga was that there were still other Hyuuga that could have been used. Natsu, Hanabi's old caretaker. Hinata and Hanabi's mother. I'm fairly certain there were also other nameless female Hyuuga that showed up from time to time (although that one's hard since it's impossible to find them). As for the boyfriend, it just seemed like something more was meant to be there because he was mentioned only once as a throwaway reference.

    And no worries. Just because a story's been commissioned is no reason to have it taken down, in my eyes.

    As for your stories, I guess I'll just keep an eye out for non-Sasuke fics in the future. An author can hardly be blamed for writing what their client wants, after all.


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  • From PennilessRonin on November 22, 2019

    Yeah, have to agree with the anon. Just like fanfic with nobody but Naruto as the MC, there's nothing worthwhile about fanfic with nobody but Sasuke as the MC. This fic in particular would've been leagues better if the man in question was either anonymous, Kiba, Shikamaru, Guy, Lee, Shino, Kankuro or yes, even Naruto.

    Nobody wants to read about the same dude over and over again. Unless the dude's the selling point of the fic, in which case I'd suggest AO3 as a better alternative for showing off your love for Sasuke.

    Seriously, imagine if you did this story but with Miri's Dad as a Hyuuga from the Elder Council going around selling his daughter for favors within the village. Maybe start off with Danzo. But regardless, it's immediately a better fic than this where Sasuke's the choice apparently just because, Miranda's a Hyuuga presumably because of a lack of creativty/because you actually like crossover smut and she has a boyfriend . . . but he goes unnamed for whatever reason.

    It just feels like you're pandering to a very small audience, one you happen to be part of and as a reader just looking for something halfway decent to read that sucks.


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  • From ANON - on November 22, 2019

    Jesus fuck yet another sasuke lemon. 

     


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