Reviews for Window Shopping

BY : FieldDranzer


  • From SniperJoe on June 17, 2018

    I find it very erotic. It was believable to get into. It didn't waste too much time before getting into it. It also didn't jump in too lightning fast. It was just right.

     

    As for the lemons themselves, I find them well written. I personally wish there were more time spent on the second scene against the window. More descriptions, both visual and emotional, and so on.

    But that's probably because I like that stuff even more than the deepthroat stuff. So that's probably up to taste.

    Again, it's not really clear if it's a one-shot or not. That's all that's bugging me right now.

     



    Report Review


  • From SniperJoe on June 17, 2018

    Spicy. Nice pairing.

    Really interested to see if there will be a sequel or not, because it seems to end in a place where I'm uncertain if it will continue or not.

    I'll give a more detailed review later I think but for right now: Ino best girl, your Naruto really reminds me of Boruto-Gen Naruto so I feel like he's on-character more than enough, and it's just hot all together which is really what matters.



    Report Review


  • From Shortcake on May 26, 2018

    I love this fic! 

    I appreciate they way you draw Naruto out from the reluctant former lover to the fully engaged dominant. 

    Also, your erotic descriptions are really vivid; very inspirational.



    Report Review


  • From pitbull4567 on May 23, 2018

    Interesting story



    Report Review


  • From BigE2955 on May 22, 2018

    Okay, so where do I start? Let's begin with the opening: for the love of God and all that is holy, you have no idea how glad I am that you remembered and went out of your way to go with a different first sentence this time. It makes starting (remember the difference between starting and reading) your work a lot less repetitive, as it doesn't feel like I'm just reading the same thing with 'X' replaced with 'Y'. I can't help but notice that you went with an auditory opening, though... but progress is progress. No point in getting a few grays.

    I have to question you naming Ino as 'Konoha's Ice Queen'. I don't know why you think she would have an 'ice cold demeanor'... even in Part I, she was shown to be kind of prep-ish. Like a cheerleader. Bitchy, vain, overly confident, though kind and selfless when it mattered.

    Your physical description of Ino, however, is spot on. I'm very impressed with that; you do a great job of making an image of her pop into my mind. As always, your descriptions are top notch. (I should also note that Ino wearing a pair of shorts underneath her skirt, not just underwear.)

    I do like the addition of their respective marriages to the story. It makes it a lot more sinful... not NTR, since both of them are cheating, but it's still great. It also adds another layer later on, when Naruto has her body revealed to the village as a whole.

    Something I greatly appreciated was the mention of tightness. It's something that smut authors often overlook, because there's a good difference between a tight pussy and a tight pussy, a tight asshole and a tight asshole. The way you describe how Ino feels to Naruto is great indeed -- I'm quite impressed.

    Now, the story did drag on for quite a bit, and I felt like there were some parts that could have been cut out. The formatting is a little odd... with the spacing a little off, as it feels like there's one space too many in between each paragraph. The ending was good, but I felt like it wasn't quite as good as the rest of the story. Something to work on, perhaps? We'll see.

    All in all, this is well done, and for your first Naruto story, I'm quite impressed. Good work, and I hope to see more content from you.



    Report Review


  • From LordSinnoh on May 19, 2018

    Fantastic story. I really like your writing and the fact that you actually try to have the people in your fic be actual characters instead of dumbed down parodies of themselves. I especially appreciated Naruto's prankster/petty side showing up at the end.

    I am looking forward to more Naruto stories from you. The category has recentlybeen dominated by Yaoi and Sasuke centered story so this feels nice.



    Report Review