Reviews for Sent

BY : Shortcake


  • From LordSinnoh on May 19, 2018

    Interesting chapter once again. I can kind of see the beginnings of an explanation for their motivation to go to war. This should prove interesting as long as you don't fall for one of the oldest fanfiction writing traps.

    By that I mean prioritising the end result of a fic over how you get there. Having moments where you break character or flat out don't make sense just ruin a story ultimately.

    We already have the first instance of that with Sakura breaking down their enemy's plan. While there are no blatant drawbacks to this plan, there are no positives whatsoever. And if anything she might make them create an even more effective plan. It just feels like a rookie mistake you would expect more from a Part 1 Naruto and not from a Post-War Sakura.

    Once again this is an erotica, so the plot doesn't matter too much. But seeing how you seem to be genuinely trying to build a story I am trying to do my best to give good feedback. While a story with Konoha ultimately wiping the floor would be boring. I still think it would infinitely more interesting than a story with them losing after countless reaches, plot holes, and character breaking moments. After all, it is more about the Journey than the Destination.



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  • From AFFModerator on May 17, 2018

    Please correct your disclaimer.

    Your disclaimer doesn't have one of the two parts we need to see. It must say that no money/profit is made. Saying that it’s just for fun or just for entertainment purposes is not enough.

    What happens if the disclaimer isn't fixed? We allow seven (7) days for the story to be corrected. After that, we hide it, and it will stay hidden until it's corrected or until it's been thirty (30) days since we hid it.  At that point, we do delete the story. If we do hide your story, you can always access it through your Control Panel in your archive profile even while it's hidden. If we do hide your story, and you've fixed it, you can contact the ToS team with the name of your story, your username and the fandom where the story is located to have your story made visible again. You can contact us by email at TOS_team@adult-fanfiction.org. Just one thing: Re-uploads of hidden stories are deleted immediately with no additional warning given.

    Here's a link to the Terms of Service:  http://www.adult-fanfiction.org/tos.php

    This link is to the FAQ about disclaimers, with some examples:  http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=3560

    We also suggest taking a few minutes to read the Content Guidelines:  http://www.adult-fanfiction.org/guidelines.php

    You can remove this review once your disclaimer is corrected.

    Thank you,

    CL Mustafic, AFF Archive Moderator



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  • From LordSinnoh on May 14, 2018

    I really like your writing. I may not be the biggest fan of Sakura but I can appreciate stories with her in it. However, my one problem is with the plot. Why would a minor village even want to go to war with Konoha and its allies? Considering how this is after the 4th Ninja War I honestly don't see this ending in any way other than the Leaf wiping the floor with Yamagakure.

    Oh well, I will just look forward to the next chapters.



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