Reviews for The Lone Traveler

BY : BigE2955


  • From ANON - on August 01, 2018

    I really enjoyed the Mirajane part of this the first few times I read through it, but in hindsight I'm less sure. Like I said, I don't really enjoy the whole half-finished feel that it leaves when a girl isn't properly conquered and wifed. I realize Sasuke obviously in the original could come back and at that point it might have tied up the Mirajane knot so it was bearable, but in the Remaster there won't be that back and forth crossing because the story structure will be different.



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  • From ANON - on August 01, 2018

    I think Lucy is still the dark horse superstar of the entire arc. I mean, you did make her a complete anal whore. But that's okay. You're spreading out the fetishes a bit and it helps to differentiate the various girls. I'd actually like to see this happen more often in both the Wanderer and Traveler Remasters. I mean, you even get girls like Akeno who are canonically switch sadist/masochists, so you definitely have some room to play with sexual fetishes.

    I mean, why haven't we see a girl that is an exhibitionist (even if Sasuke is so jealous he'd rather weave a genjutsu so no one sees them fucking in public)? Lucy here is the anal whore, but where's pet play girl? What about someone that has an honest to god rape fetish? Or a girl that gets off on being cucked? The Chidori basically lends itself to electrostimulation. Not to mention the holy duo of breeding and pregnancy fetishism.



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  • From ANON - on August 01, 2018

    I'll reiterate I'm still not crazy about this Juvia angle.

    For one it triggers me in an OCD kind of way. I dislike the thought of leaving girls half-conquered like that. I feel if you're going to go part of the way you might as well go all the way, or it feels like an aborted orgasm and I'm sitting here half-flacid.

    Secondly, I dislike NTR in general of characters I like, I think Grey is not that bad of a guy. So I don't like to see Sasuke basically cumragging Juvia a little bit just to make him jealous.

    Not to Sasuke is himself a carnivore, so you'd think that he'd be enough of a greedy sex addict to say "fuck it, you missed you're chance, Juvia is mine now" even if he netted her under dubious circumstances.



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  • From ANON - on August 01, 2018

    I imagine this one will be a little shorter.

    In regards to this master thing - I'm thinking that in the Remaster you should do away with this entirely, or confine it to the girls who it would be lore appropriate for. Erza calling Sasuke 'master' is a bit cringy because it's just there to signify cock-sluttiness. It's the kind of thing you'd see in a hentai rather than in a top tier smut fic with well-developed characterization. Of the original girls right off the top of my head I can only really see Haku using it, and then as a title like 'Master Zabuza" rather than signifying actual ownership in the way it conveys ownership here.

    Erza probably shouldn't really use it, since canonically I think the only time she uses master is "Master Makarov" as the leader of the guild, and Sasuke is her husband rather than a guild master. Beyond that and going forward though, I think the most appropriate girl for it to be used in the sense of 'ownership' would be for One Piece's Boa Hancock, if she gets harem'd in the OP arc. And namely for the reason that it's lore relevant. Boa spent her childhood as a slave and thus calling Sasuke that would signify character development on her part. Namely, that the moment she willingly calls him her master would be proof of her complete and utter surrender of herself to him.

    The other thing that tickled my mind was Jellal. He wasn't really around in this one, but if you decide to Remaster this fic as well I would see him occupying a sort of Issei place in wanting to win Erza back. Maybe he'd be less enthusiastic about it because of his personal need for redemption, but at the very least there would be some measure of conflict.



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  • From ANON - on August 01, 2018

    Dis intro. Anyway, not sure if I've mentioned these points before but this chapter raised a few questions in my mind.

    First is namely Erza's characterization. I would recommend that all of the crossover girls (Erza, Rias, and Robin) be much less broken than they were in the original. I know we talked about scales from true love to cockslut, and I believe they all should be pretty highly rated when it comes to emotional intimacy over the purely sexual intimacy. My reasoning is that when Sasuke goes to their various universes these girls are going to have to be Sasuke's guides. Which means they need to be able to function pretty rationally at most times in order to habiliate him there. Not to mention that they would need to be able to handle Sasuke's instinct to harem build, channeling him at girls that seem appropriate and at least warning him away from girls that are not. After all Sasuke doesn't know anything about these worlds or their power. Sona Sitri might be nice to look at, but going after her would complicate shit immensely, and Rias would need her wits about her to channel Sasuke at safer options like the girls in her peerage.

    Secondly is the degree of cum sluttiness itself. In the original it ranged from "it's fun but not consuming" in Robin's case to "completely and totally mindbroken and only able to think of cum" in Erza's case. You actually had to retconn her as less broken just to be able to have the plot here. I also don't really agree with the second in general. I would like to see sex translate to intimacy to some degree for the various girls, and they for lack of a better description do become addicted to Sasuke and the feelings he gives them. But even a 'cumslut' like you plan Ino to be should be mentally stable and able to function in society. Any breaking should be almost Stockholm Syndrome-esque rather than hentai. Instead of just having their brains killed they could be conditioned by their own bodies into affection and love. And perhaps the wife rankings should be less about love per se and more about compatability. Naruko and Sasuke truly love each other, because they share interests and their affection would naturally develop, whereas Sasuke and Tsunade 'love' each other but those feelings are the conditioned result of sex rather than natural compatability.

    Thirdly, seeing Kakashi puttering about made me wonder about the reactions of various bystanders and side characters. I mean, Sasuke builds this enormous harem of women all across the continent. Even if he keeps some of his wives a secret, there's enough of them that it's a believable cause of friction. I would expect Sasuke to start clashing with the father/brother/son of the women he's collecting, and at the least neutral parties like Kakashi or Orochimaru forming their own opinions on the matter.



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  • From ANON - on May 23, 2018

    updates plz?



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  • From ANON - on May 23, 2018

    I really am enjoying the series plz keep at it!!!

    I loved lone wanderer and i cant stop reading your work :)



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  • From FFH on February 05, 2018

    I'm surprised you ending off OP's world after only including Nami.



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  • From ANON - Randomness on January 29, 2018

    Hmph, nice job with ending this arc. Hell, that crew is in for a shock if Robin's plan works. Keep doing what you do and enjoy yourself.



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  • From ANON - uchihafan on January 29, 2018

    i liked this chapter but update narutos fetish please



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  • From ANON - Tralala on January 20, 2018

    Nice sequel for lone wanderer. I wonder, though, if Sasuke wanted to break Nami, shouldn't his slow pace be better suited for it?

    Would like to see more chakra application in sex - with lightnings, electricity and illusions that increase sensetivity and such.

    P.S. Would you update on other sites?



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  • From ElChapo on January 19, 2018

    Great chapter as always bro. Really hoping to see Boa Hancock make an appearance at some point in the One Piece arc. Hope you update soon bro.



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  • From ANON - digger on January 14, 2018

    Can he have not common girls like monet or shalulia since that is hardly done and since he is in one piece now.



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  • From ANON - Elio on January 08, 2018

    Nice job Nami went down like I expected but it ended up being more intense than I expected but kind of disappointed that we didn't get a clue on the next girl still though nice work.



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  • From ANON - Literally Hitler on January 07, 2018

    Good update. I was a bit worried that Sasuke would get bretty ruff based on the discussions we had about him getting all pissed off, but this was ideal. Him being irritated but still confident and in control.



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