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Reviews for The Heiress' Choice

By : Itachiakge
  • From ANON - Danielle on December 21, 2013
    Great story, though it could be better. Very different from the other stories i read so far....please keep going, ok?
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  • From ANON - noneed on December 21, 2013
    I found this to be a very interesting concept. It seems well written and very well developed. I look forward to future chapters with anticipation.
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  • From ANON - x on December 20, 2013
    buena historia pero no solo hinata also ino deberian ser esclabas
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  • From ANON - Antoinette on December 20, 2013
    Interesting story line. I hope you continue it soon.
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  • From ANON - naruhinalover20 on December 20, 2013
    Nice chapter update soon cant wait to see naruto and hinata deal with their new lives and see if naruto tries to jump into his master role or take it step by step
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  • From ANON - Edward on December 20, 2013
    Nice start and looking foward to next update good idea here
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  • From ANON - reader on December 20, 2013
    Interesting setup. I don't like how Hinata gives up her free will to serve Naruto. It makes her out to be a very weak character...unfortunately, I could see her doing something like that since she's always been obsessed with Naruto and seemed like she has low self-esteem. Hopefully Naruto doesn't abuse his power and become too much of a jerk to her. Will be interesting to see where you take this. On a side note, I think you should do more proofreading. I saw quite a few basic grammatical errors like spelling character names in lowercase letters. You also have a tendency to switch between past and present tense, for example, you would use "He said" in one sentence and then "He says" in the next one. It's good practice to choose one tense and stick to it.
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  • From VFSNAKE on December 19, 2013
    Nice! Naruto has Hinata as a slave. Can't wait to see him screw her senseless.
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  • From ninesenshi on December 19, 2013
    Could be fun, I'll have to see
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  • From Odinson83 on December 19, 2013
    Please please please continue.
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  • From Ryvius on December 19, 2013
    Decent start. Definitely interested to see how this progresses.

    I don't think Hinata's dad would go so far as to attack her, and I don't know why Tsunade would question Naruto's character when Hinata said she wanted to be his slave, but otherwise, everyone else seems pretty much in character.

    Keep up the good work!
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